Bodeman at Work

I hate Andrew "Dice" Clay. You may remember him (said in your best Phil Hartman voice) from such box office hits like The Adventures of Ford Fairlane and...well, there aren't any others. He was the comedian who liked to make children's nursery rhymes a bit dirty. As an example, "Little boy blew [sic]; he needed the money." Yes, there was a time in my adolescence when I gave this type of humor top marks. He had many others, and I've found that even after fifteen years, they are still ingrained in my memory (but somehow I can't remember to buy T.P. at the store...) So now, anytime we are reading Bode these lovely nursery rhymes, all I can think of are those stupid (but still funny) lyrics. Fortunately, I am able to censor myself around the little man, because we certainly don't need him going to daycare singing the R-rated version of, "Hickory Dickory Dock..."

Speaking of Bode, we were reading Dr. Seuss's The Alphabet Book (or whatever it's called). It's the one that goes, "Big A, little A, what begins with A? Aunt Annie's aligator, A, a, A." Like most of Seuss's work (and also Shakespear), you can just about sing the words, and they have a catchy little beat (iambic pentameter?). So, we get to the letter, K, and it goes something like, "Big K, little K, what begins with K? K-word, K-word, K, k, K." It's the last part that struck me as, well, perhaps something the editor missed. K, k,...K? Do I need to be singing this to Bode? Yes, it's very innocent, but I'm surprised someone hasn't sued...

We were out fixing our stone wall earlier this week. A rock had fallen out of place, so we got some quickcrete to secure it back into place. Bode was a big help (hinderance)...the best part was playing with the hose. He managed to soak himself, but loved it. Here is a picture of a wet Bode-man with some crazy hair.
Yesterday, we took the camera with us to daycare. One of Bode's buddies is a little tyke named Tyler (aka Ty-Ty). Whenever Bode sees him, he says, "Hi Tywer." After they exchange their formal greetings (usually a shove), they immediately run over to begin their busy day of playing.Finally, here's a shot of Bode as we're leaving. (Un)Fortunately, he isn't at all upset when we leave. As a matter of fact, it sort of looks like he's saying, "Mom, Dad? I'm with my boyz! What are you still doing here? "
It's getting cool here. Temperature for Saturday is forecast to be 71. Yikes. Ashley may have to go against what society says and wear nylons before Labor Day.

Pleasant weekend.

It's Football Season!

Well, sort of. I flipped on TV and saw the first preseason NFL game is on. I can't really get into the preseason NFL games. Sure, I'll watch the Steelers...for the first quarter. Once the starters come out, I lose interest. This year, the actual season should be lots of fun. I joined my first fantasy football league. I sure hope it's everything I've ever dreamed it would be (I really need to work on my dream choices :-) I imagine I'll be soundly defeated because my intention is to let Bode help me decide my weekly roster.

Ashley is starting to get nervous about the upcoming Auburn season. The night sweats have started, and sometimes I hear her whimpering in her sleep about the evil Nick Satan, err, Saban. Once she woke up screaming about not knowing how to defend the little jump pass from Tim Tebow. My wife is certainly strange. Speaking of strange, check out these two idiots.
There really should be some sort of certification required before allowing someone to purchase a digital camera.

It's been hot here. Real hot. Ashley was tempted to break out the thongs, but I told her it wasn't yet hot enough for me to wear one (temps would have to be like those on Venus for that to ever happen). We should have gone to the pool to beat the heat, but instead, we went to the new outlet stores in Monroe (not that anyone outside of Dayton knows where that is--about 20 miles from our house). It was a lot like other outlet malls I've been to. I've noticed that everything in every store is always marked down or on sale. When is something not on sale?

Bode is great. He got a haircut this weekend (actually, he got them all cut, ha ha). Here are a couple pictures taken on the porch. First, we have Bode in some sort of action pose. Yes, he is one solid little dude.Too bad it's so hot here. Bode was ready to do some snow-shovelling. Give it few months, son.
Nothing else really going on. However, I must get up on my soap-box (only briefly) and say this. If you're in the men's locker room, I believe it's just good etiquette to yield the right-of-way to the naked guy. Otherwise, a gross encounter of the worst kind can ensue. And, as Forrest would say, "That's all I have to say about that."

Bode has really started to enjoy story time before bed. Every night we read to him, and he seems to love it. In fact, there is no greater joy than when your son says, "Soory Daddy?" while carrying his favorite book.
Pleasant week to all.

Bad Parents. Baaaad Parents.

Saturday, Ashley, Bode, and I went to The Greene, which is basically a big outdoor mall with a large common area in the middle. There is a guy on stilts that makes balloon animals, sometimes there's live music, and there is a big in-ground fountain that kids run through to stay cool in the summer heat. We left the house around five, and I always feel bad going somewhere this time of day. Five is about the time Auburn goes on her walk, so if she sees us getting ready to go somewhere around this time, she thinks we're heading out for a W-A-L-K . She'll watch us go downstairs, eagerly anticipating the, "C'mon Auburn," which doesn't come. I wonder how long she stays at the top of the stairs after we leave. Perhaps she lets out a little whimper and wonders what she did wrong. If only dogs were welcome everywhere...

We had a nice time at The Greene. Bode sort of played in the fountain, but as usual, he was more interested in puddles off to the side. This is probably a good thing because he didn't get soaking wet like all the other kids. Afterward, we went to dinner at Noodles and Co., and Ashley was nice enough to let us stop for ice cream on the way home. We got back to the house around 7:30, and Auburn was waiting for us, ready and raring to go on a walk. Sadly, neither Ashley nor I took man's best friend around the block. All night, she kept following me around with a sad, pathetic look on her face. I felt a little guilty, so I gave her a nice massage and belly rub before bed time, and telling her, "We'll go tomorrow, I promise," which, of course, she doesn't understand.

About 2:30 am, I hear Auburn get up--the click click click of her paws on the hardwood floor is unmistakable. I also hear her stomach making strange noises. This is nothing new, as sometimes she (like me) gets an upset tummy. I hear her make it to the kitchen, but I don't hear the dog-door slap shut. A few minutes later, she comes back to our room and just stares at us. I get up, thinking maybe the dog-door was stuck. I checked, but it was working fine, so I said, "Auburn, go outside." She just looks at me. "Whatever, dog, I'm going back to sleep." So she comes back to the room with me, and I get back into bed. I keep hearing her belly make those strange gurgling noises. Was it something she ate? I thought. And then it hits me. We forgot to feed her! Poor girl didn't get her dinner. What awful parents we are--how could we forget to feed our little baby (well, maybe not-so-little)?!? I get back up, go over to Auburn and say, "Do you want eat?" Well she's off like a rocket down the hall and is waiting for me in front of her dog-bowl. I give her some food, which she inhales, amazingly her stomach quiets down, and we go back to bed.

Fortunately, Bode will make a little more noise than Auburn when he's hungry, so it would be impossible for us to forget to feed him :-) Pleasant week to all (yes, there were no pictures with this post...I'll try to take some this week).

Evening Walks

Ashley and I have found raising a kid (yes, only one) is very cyclical. There seem to be a lot of different phases, and just when we think we have it all sorted out, boom! Everything changes. Auburn (the dog) was simple compared to Bode. She's followed basically the same routine since she came out of her puppy phase--wake up, eat, see Mom and Dad off, nap for awhile, bark at things (hates the UPS truck), get excited when Mom and Dad return, go for a walk, eat, and wait for bed. Next day, same thing--wash, rinse, repeat. Bode definitely doesn't keep to the same schedule for more than a few months.

For instance, since ~February, we would come home from work, change, and go for a walk. Bode would be in his stroller. It took a few trips until we learned to bring a supply of grapes, Cheezits, and juice to keep Bode satisfied. This little routine seemed to work great...until recently (within the past week). Bode has decided he hates the stroller. He screams, yells, and kicks whenever we try to put him in the stroller (and yes, he's about the length where his little kicks are hitting the family jewels). We tried letting him walk. This works for about 3/4 of the way. Of course, he gets easily side-tracked. He'll bark back at dogs that bark at him (very cute). If he sees (or hears) an airplane, he has to stop, point, and say, "Ehprane." When he no longer sees it, he says, "Bye bye." And usually at some point, he'll decide he's done walking. He'll simply sit down and play with some pebbles. If I pick him up, he throws a dangerous tantrum (remember those little kicks), carrying on like Tiger Woods after a bad tee-shot (minus the f-bombs, of course). It's quite a scene--our neighbors found it humorous (jerks).

The other day, Ashley brought a camera on our little outing. Here are some action photos. First, we have Bode in a gunslinger pose. He's checking things out, making sure nothing is amiss. He's kinda like a neighborhood watch.Next, we have Bode walking. You can also see our house in the top left. We had the exterior painted about a month ago--not sure if you can tell the color was slightly changed.
Here's Bode checking out the fire-hydrant. With the barking at dogs and hydrant investigation, we're starting to wonder if he's part canine. Also, Bode's starting to show--he's about four months pregnant :-)At the end of the walk, we take a much needed break, and I impart some of my knowledge about the game of basketball. Bode is absorbing it like a (saturated) sponge.
I've explained he's expected to sign a lucrative NBA contract at age 20 to support his parents' life of leisure. His response? "Ehprane." I think the message didn't get through. Pleasant Thursday.

New Camera

As stated in the previous post, we recently "lost" our camera while on vacation. Of course, Ashley probably thought this was a good thing because she has been bugging me for awhile (since ~2004) that we needed a more modern digital camera. Thus, the silver lining to this little act of thievery is we now have a new Panasonic DMC-TZ5 Lumix (whatever that means).

Ashley spent some time learning how to operate the camera. Here are some practice photos. First, here's me and little guy playing trains.Next, we have a shot of Bode and me surfing the internet. Bode loves the computer. Well, I don't know if it's the computer he loves. Rather, I think he sees us doing something and wants to participate. Anytime Ashley and I are sitting in the office chair, Bode comes over and tries to force his way on our lap. This is fine if we have nothing to do. However, if we are trying to do important things (like write this blog), it can be difficult because Bode likes to mash the keys. You can't tell by the picture, but the keyboard Bode is resting his fingers on isn't hooked up to the computer. Just in front of Bode's keyboard is the real keyboard. Fortunately, he still has the little alligator arms and can't quite reach the real one :-)Finally, we have a shot of Bode in some shades. For awhile, he didn't like wearing the glasses. Today, though, he was walking around (strutting) with them on. I think this was his way of saying, "Daddy, we haven't been swimming in awhile. Chop chop."
Ashley is finishing up some work. As soon as she's done, we're heading to the pool. The weather is decent today--not perfect pool weather, but since it's been hovering in the low 70's for the past 10 days (global warming?), we'll take what we can get. Pleasant week to all.

Summer Vacation and Sleeping Troubles

We recently took a vacation to Texas. I believe the only place hotter than Texas in July is an oven in Saudi Arabia. Temperatures were 103+ every day except the last when it cooled down to 99. Despite the extreme conditions, we had a wonderful time. Allow me to say up front that we have NO pictures because our camera "disappeared" the first day we went to the pool. I'm hoping the relatives email some shots, and if they do, I'll be sure to add them. Thus, until we get a replacement camera, you are stuck with just anecdotes and my feeble descriptions.

We first went to a resort called Lost Pines just outside of Austin. It had a nice pool, lazy river, and smores served every night at 8-ish (all diets were suspended for the duration of the trip). The first night was rather troublesome. Every time Bode lay down, he screamed, and loudly at that. The only time he wouldn't scream was in the stroller. And since we were concerned about the neighboring rooms, Bode and I spent some quality time from 12-2 am and then again from 4-7 am strolling around the hotel grounds. At least the temperature had fallen to the mid-80's, and we did see some armadillo and a couple skunk. Later that morning as I napped, Ashley took Bode to a local clinic. Diagosis: ear infection. Fortunately, the medicine seemed to work and he was able to sleep that night, expect he wouldn't sleep in the crib. Therefore, for the duration of the trip, Bode slept in the big bed between Ashley and me which he loved (more on this later).

After a few days of R&R at Lost Pines, we headed to San Antonio with a slight detour to Austin to see Ashley's Uncle Bud. The entire crew had lunch. Note the entire crew consisted of Ashley's parents, her Aunt Patti and Uncle Dwight, her cousin Penny and her family Milton (husband) and kids (Chelsea, Cricket, Callie, and Josh), Josh's girlfriend, and Ashley's brother Dave and his wife, Kathy, and their two kids, Teddy and Charlie. We stayed at another resort in San Antonio just across the street from Sea World. There was another pool with lazy river, and more smores. We lounged at the pool and spent a day at Sea World. Bode really liked the sea lion show (he thought they were big dogs). We also saw the Orca show, but stayed away from the splash zone :-) The grandparents watched Bode for a little while enabling Ashley and me to go on one of the big water rides. And what trip to San Antonio isn't complete without a trip to the Riverwalk for some Mexican food.

Bode seemed to like spending time in the swimming pools, and also enjoyed playing with his cousins. Unfortunately, the sleeping in the bed has caused some trouble since we've come home. He no longer likes his crib. Before we went on vacation, we could put him in his crib, and he'd be asleep in five minutes. Now he's learned there's stuff going on outside his room, so everytime we try to get him to go to sleep, he screams, and screams, and screams some more. Usually at night he'll scream for ~1 hour and then nod off. Occasionally he'll be up in the middle of the night screaming. And the naps seem to have gone the way of the dodo. Yesterday (Saturday), when we put him down for a nap he screamed for 90 minutes before we gave up. We had hoped the lack of nap would make him sleepy at night. No such luck. And today (Sunday), we're again trying for a nap. We put him in the crib at 1:15. It is now 2:55 and he's still shouting. The annoying thing is daycare has said Bode still naps great. Hopefully it's just a (short) phase.

Ashley is out shopping. Hopefully she gets us a new camera because I just reread the post. Damn this thing is boring without pictures :-) Pleasant week to all.

Swim, Swam, Swum

Bode finished his first swimming class. For the past four weeks, we've been going to swim-lessons every Monday and Wednesday. The instructor said, "Bode did great...for his age," which is a lot like the young guys at working telling me, "You're pretty fast...for an old guy."

Today, Bode received his "Certificate of Participation," which is sort of like, "Everyone Gets a Trophy" day. The certificate was a pseudo-report card. There were nine items, and Bode got six pluses and three minuses. The optimist would say, "He passed the majority of the skills." The pessimist would say, "Thirty-three percent failure? Even Shaq doesn't miss that many from the line." Bode wasn't very fond of being put on his back. He was fine in our arms or on his tummy. But the second you tried to put him on his back, he'd go stiff as a board and start crying like a soccer player who's just been slide-tackled and expected a foul. Nor did he blow bubbles in the water. He'd put his face close to the water and then lick it. Maybe he's been watching Auburn a bit too closely...

Now for some pictures. First, here's Bode and me just starting out. It was rather cold today--high was 70 at best. Somehow I got to the be the one to swim today (Ashley swam on Monday; it was in the 90's).
Next, we have Bode working on the front-float. Looks like Daddy was off his game because Bode's face isn't supposed to be in the water...Here is Bode using the styrofoam dumbbell. He could float on his own if he was positioned right, but he usually found it more fun to pick up the dumbbell, upon which all floating benefits would be lost and he'd sink.Here we are hanging out on the wall. Yes, that is a nice line of snot going from his nose to his mouth. Yum.Bode never would jump into the pool, but he would sit on the edge and fall in. He loved this and would do it over and over and over...Finally, here's me and the little orca at the end of the lesson.Bode loves the water. He's so wound up when we leave the pool. He's running and humming and whooting. Fortunately, this usually wears him out so come bed time, he's out like a rock. Sadly, the lessons also wear me out. It's going on 8:30, and I'm off to bed. Pleasant evening.