Nothing But Bull-Pics

No preamble for this post. I'll just dive right in. The other day, Auburn did something I thought was real smart. In the days P.B., we would keep multiple water bowls filled around the house--heaven forbid the dog have to walk more than ten feet to get a drink. As Bode has gotten older, a favorite thing for him to do is grab the water bowls, and he has yet to learn that a full bowl when grabbed by one with minimal grabbing dexterity will likely spill. Thus, we now only have the one water bowl in the kitchen.

As you might have heard, Dudley has been diagnosed with diabetes. Before you panic, let me say it's very treatable with daily injections of insulin (and it only costs $18 per month, so it's not like we're breaking the bank to do it). Dudley will start on insulin this Wednesday. The symptoms of diabetes in a canine are a lot like those in a person (e.g. drinking a lot of water). The increased water intake has made Dudley pee quite often, and many times in the house (it's a pain to get old). Therefore, until he gets on insulin, we've had to pen him in to keep him off the carpet/furniture in the event of an accident. We sit him on some towels, try to make him comfortable, and, yes, we're doing a lot of laundry. In his little area, we have also placed a water bowl.

Now, back to the thing Auburn did that I thought was smart. I had forgotten to fill Auburn's water bowl and didn't realize it. For almost an hour, Auburn kept going over to Dudley's pen and staring into it. For the life of me, I had no idea what she was doing, and then it clicked: she wanted the water. I checked and her bowl was indeed empty. I apologized profusely (which she probably heard as, "Blah bah, blaaah, blah bah, Auburn"). I commented to Ashley about Auburn's behavior and how smart I thought she was. Ashley's response? Well, she wasn't near as impressed as I was. She said, and I (mis)quote, "If the bitch was so smart, why didn't she just kick her empty bowl into the wall?" (As many of you Holiday newsletter readers know, b---h is a perfectly acceptable word. If you don't believe me, just watch the Eukenuba Dog Show and count how many times they use the b-word--and I quote, "What a pristine looking bitch...") Anyways, evidently Auburn isn't as smart as I thought...

This week, the camera was operated by Miss Ashley. Here are some action shots of me and the not-so-light dude. First, here he is on my shoulders.Bode is getting heavy. We had to go to the doc this past week--6/10 kids in his class got pink-eye...Bode was one of the lucky 60%. Fortunately, Ashley nor I have yet to get it...but my eyes are sort of itchy. At the doc's office, Bode weighed 29.4 pounds, and he's not even 17 months old. Ashley doesn't like it when I call him Bode-the-Hutt...

Here's Bode and Daddy reading about all the wonderful sounds Mr. Brown can make. Not quite Stephen King, but interesting none-the-less (particularly so on the fifth reading...)
Next, we have Bode and Daddy playing trains. Note how Daddy is responsible for construction while Bode is in more of a supervisory role. I think we have the makings of a future government employee.Here's a great shot of Bode sitting on my back. I thought I'd see how many push-ups I could do with a 30-pounder weighing me down. The position you see me in is about as far as I got...(and before you make comments, yes, that is the stupidiest look on my faceWe reached another milestone this week. See if you can figure out what it is from this picture.
Did you figure out what it was? Note the cup Bode is using. There's no lid i.e. no sippy-cup top. Yessiree, Bode-man is drinking like a normal person. Well, almost like a normal person. Sometimes he gets too ambitious and tilts the cup too far. And while we're in training mode, all he gets in the cup is water.

That about does it for this post. I apologize that there are no pictures of Auburn or Ashley. Evidently the bitch wasn't pristine enough to photograph this week :-)

Pleasant evening to all.

Happy Easter...Here's Your Fat Lip

Happy Easter Sunday to everyone. It is a beautiful day here in Dayton, and I'm not just talking about the weather. Lent is now officially over, which means I can eat sweets again. Yes, you heard (read) that right. I gave up sweets for the past 46 days (or 1,004 hours...but who's counting). And my definition of "sweets" was rather strict (I'm old school, baby). Anything that I would normally eat for dessert was prohibitted. No chocolate, no ice cream, no cookies. I didn't even allow myself an after-dinner mint. The results were rather surprising. I lost six pounds, which is quite a lot for a little slim-jim like me. What was more impressive was this past week, we had our annual weigh-in/waist measurement at work. My waist was a shocking 29.5 inches. Now, before you gasp, the guy doing the taping was a bit generous with his "cinching of the tape" (the footprint on my stomach is evidence on how snugly the tape was pulled). I probably won't continue this exercise is sugar-abstinance, but I think the lesson of this little adventure is clear. If you are trying to lose weight, simply give up the sweets for 1,000+ hours...if I can do it, so can you.

Yesterday, we went to the park. Bode loves the swings, and he's really starting to like the slide. He's able to climb the stairs like a normal person (i.e. not crawl up them) with a little help from Mom or Dad (we hold his hand). Of course, if the person holding his hand isn't paying close enough attention, the little dude can still fall down (I'm the guilty one, your Honor). Below is what happens when toddler-lip meets steel-stair.Poor little guy got a fat lip--he looks like he was in a rumble. And yes, I fully admit that it was Daddy's fault (well, I also blame the economy and those greedy Wall-Street bankers, because everything is their fault these days). Fortunately, the amount he cried was disproportionate to the amount of blood (lots of blood, minimal tears), and once we got home and got some juice, Bode-man was his normal self.

Do you know those restaurants where you order your food at the counter (e.g. a Subway or Noodles and Company)? We frequent such a place for lunch. It's usually pretty crowded, and there is limited seating. Now, can someone please tell me how a normal, sane person would think it to be acceptable behavior to show up at such a place, see the long line at the counter and the limited number of tables, and have somone from their party snag an open table even though there were ten people in front of them in line? How is this different from simply cutting in front of everyone in line? If you are one of these people, well, I apologize (actually, I don't...you should be shot :-)

We are off to the Home Depot. Bode loves it there--so much to see, so much to feel. The added bonus is the store is huge, and all that walking makes for a long afternoon nap!

Pleasant day to all.

Chessmaster Bode

Many many things are happening here at the McGuirk household. We decided to help do our part to stimulate the economy. Of course, we are not simply making money out of thin air and giving it to people, a la the government. Rather, we are spending some of our "petty cash" on home improvement. The first in a series of planned upgrades is a new front door. Since most of you have never been to our home (you don't like Dayton?), here is a before picture.
We didn't do the installation ourselves because 1) we are lazy, and 2) we did want to stimulate that economy. Thus, we paid someone to do it last week, and wouldn't you know the stock market went up. You can thank our little stimulus bill for that :-) Here are some after shots. Note the inside picture isn't very good due to all the light that now floods the entryway thanks to the new windows.
It really looks great. We still have to stain/paint the trim, but I have a gal that's good at those things. The only bad thing about the new door is we went from a double-door to a single. This means the baby-grand piano is now a permanent fixture in this house, as the only way out would be through a window. In the coming weeks, we plan to paint a couple interior rooms (we'll contract that out), and install new carpet (also contracted out), so look for the stock market to soar. Additionally, we will upgrade our 1/2 bathroom, but we might do that in-house depending on how the economy is doing ;-)

This week, I tried to teach Bode how to play chess. We did great, but he hasn't quite earned the nickname, Checkmate.
We started off well--note how his first move is with a pawn, albeit the queen-rook pawn, a horrible move in terms of strategy, but one step at a time. Unfortunately, he never placed his pawn anywhere. Instead, he grabbed my queen, a gross violation of the rules.At this point, he started to position all my pieces on the one side.
This is a very interesting strategy--take the opponents pieces and position them for him, and poorly at that. Certainly a new way of thinking. I'll have to contact Gary Kasparov and see what he thinks of Bode's method. Not sure if we have a prodigy on our hands. For now, he'll just have to be a cutie.
Freezing here today. High of 40, rain, and yuckiness. A good day to make some chili and read a book. Ashley is reading Brisinger (3rd book in the Eragon series, which she recommends) and I'm reading Needful Things, which I just started, so I can't yet give it a go/no go. Also, tonight on AMC is the TV show, Breaking Bad, which we give two hearty thumbs up.

Pleasant Sunday to all.

March Madness

Stupid basketball pools. I checked my bracket this morning and found at best, I will have picked twelve of the Sweet Sixteen teams correctly...and that's assuming all my picks win today. Oh well, there's always next year. Ashley started out great on Thursday, picking 16 out of 16, but she suffered some setbacks on Friday. Her bracket is in better shape than mine, although she did West Virginia have going to the Elite Eight. Of course, we've been more interested in the NIT, as Auburn is through to the third round. Go Tigers!

Here are some more pictures from our FWB trip. First, here's Bode in Nana and PapaFrank's backyard.Next, we have Bode and Mama on the boardwalk.
Bode had his first French Fry on our trip. He's now officially given up fruit and expects fish and chips at every meal :-) While we were eating, I had some ketchup and tarter sauce on my plate, into which I would dip my fries. Bode was watching me, and a short while later, he grabbed a fry, leaned over, dipped it into the ketchup, and ate it. Yum yum. Evidently he's watching and learning all the time...hopefully he picks up on my good habits and ignores the bad.

Forecast is for a beautiful day. We hope to do some yard work while Bode is down for his nap. In order to ensure he sleeps well, I'm going to take him for a stroll around the block, and then maybe some turkey for lunch (go tryptophan). Pleasant Sunday.

Fort Walton

Greetings from Fort Walton Beach. Ashley had a meeting/conference at Eglin AFB. Bode and I decided to tag along for some fun in the summer, err, spring, err, late winter sun. Despite the season, it is quite lovely today in the panhandle, so much so that Ashley and I went running in our shorts and t-shirts. The high was 75ish today with perhaps one cloud in the sky. Sadly, the weather in Dayton is forecast to be beautiful, with it returning to the high 40's by the time we go back. Why couldn't it be crappy while we were gone? Sheesh.

We've had a great time. On Sunday, we ran into some friends--the Rezek-Millea clan of Starkville, Mississippi. They're on their spring break and spending the week near San Destin. On Sunday, we received an email from them, asking what they could do for fun in the area. Unbeknownst to them, we were here, so we met up for an afternoon.

It was nice to see Jon, Meghan, Elliott, and Oscar. We thought Bode was a seasoned traveller, but compared to Elliott and Oscar, Bode is a novice. Elliott and Oscar have been to Alaska, England, Germany, and South Africa, which is quite impresses considering Oscar just turned four...

Bode loves the water. We were at the outlet mall, which had a play area. Part of the play area was a little fountain. Once Bode saw this, he never, ever wanted to leave. Here are some action photos. And before you ask, yes, he is wearing two different sets of pants. At one point, he was soaked, so we said that's it, cleaned him up, and went on our way. However, we evenutally walked by the fountain again, Bode saw it, and his screaming could only be appeased by letting have another go. In this first picture, Bode looks tough..except for the diaper sticking up through his pants...

Here he is getting a little more daring...and a little more wet.

Next, we have the little dude using his foot to spray the water everywhere...note how Ashley is a safe distance away.
Finally, we have the little guy using both hands and sometimes his face. We have to get one of these installed in our backyard.

In case you can't tell how much Bode really loves the water, here's a movie.

The play area also had some swings. Here is Jon pushing Oscar.And now here's Bode enjoying his time in the saddle. Bode was exhausted--he enjoyed the water so much, he skipped his nap. Obviously he crashed hard on the drive home.
Pleasant day.

Door 1, Bode 0

Bode is now past 15 months, and he is quite the boy. Little boys like to move from point A to point B as fast as they can. Unfortunately, Bode doesn't quite have the fine leg dexterity that is required for speed work. Thus, in the immortal words of Cosmo Kramer, "There was an incident," at daycare last week. Nothing serious or hospital-worthy, but there was blood and tears. Bode was "hauling a*s" across the room and tripped over the carpet. His little alligator arms weren't fast enough to brace the fall, so Whamo! Face first onto the floor. Lots of blood from his nose and mouth, but he shook it off and was playing again in less than ten minutes.

Unfortunately, the exact same thing happened on Saturday at the grocery store. We go there early Saturday mornings, so there isn't a big crowd. We let Bode explore while we shop. There he was strolling along when his feet got tangled, and Whamo! again. Face first onto the grocery mart floor. I didn't realize the severity until I saw Ashley holding him, blood pouring down his face. The store personnel were quite helpful (ice, water, and a couple lollipops), and in a few minutes, the little dude had calmed down.

Tonight, Bode had another fall. This one left a mark. He was walking into the sun-room. His feet must have gotten tangled up in the floor-runners, because next thing we knew, we had a screaming kid. Bode didn't hit the ground, but rather, his face slammed into the metal rails on the wall upon which the door closes. You can see the line running down his face just under his eye. Poor little fella...but we suppose there are only going to be more incidents as time goes by.

Nothing else exciting. My immune system continues to take a beating in the post-Bode era, as I had a 101 degree fever last night, and seem to have developed YET ANOTHER COLD. Fortunately, Bode is fine. Evidently he's just the conduit through which the germs make it from daycare to our house.

Pleasant day.

An Old Dog New Tricks

Perhaps the title is a bit misleading, as no tricks are learned. Rather, this old dog (me) finally learned what many knew years ago. If you've known me long enough, perhaps you've heard me make the following boast: "Yeah, I think I could take a dog in a fight." I would say this half jokingly, but in every joke, there's a little bit of truth.

My reasoning, I believe, was sound. Even Auburn, a supposedly menacing, powerful rottie, weighs only 100 pounds. That's less than Ashley (sorry hun), and not to brag, but I'm pretty sure I could take Ashley in a wrestling match due to my 50+ pound weight advantage (provided she promises to not hit below the belt). People would argue, "But the dog can run really fast at you and pounce." My response? I'd simply charge right back at the dog, knowing my momentum is more than his and let physics take over.

Of course, I tended to overlook a few things. First, there is a wealth of empircal data which clearly shows in the showdowns featuring man-v-dog (excluding matches where chiahuahuas represented the canines), the dog usually comes out the victor. I discarded this data, as I figured no one as savvy as me ever got involved in a dog fight. I also looked past the data point I obtained from John Q. Policeman, a dog-handler I met in Alabama. He said, "No one can beat the dog." Yeah, well, it was also said no one could run a sub-four minute mile either (granted I've never done so but that's beside the point). Finally, and most importantly, I tended to ignore just how painful it is to actually be bitten by a dog. I think I failed to realize this because in all those dog-attack training videos, the guy getting bit is in a huge, dog-proof suit.

So there we were this weekend, Auburn and me, playing in the den. I had out the big bouncy ball that so infuriates Auburn when I slam it into the ground. She'll leap at the ball and snap at it, and try to pin it down with her paws. Now, tell me what was wrong with the following thought process: It'd be funny if I throw the ball and just as Auburn tries to bite it, quickly grab it and pull it away. Hmmm. Surely you see the recipe for disaster? It was at times like this that it would be nice if the little angel on my left shoulder spoke just a bit louder, because I don't move as fast as I think I do. Ball is tossed. Auburn jumps, jaws chomping. I grab ball, and pull away. Alas, I was too slow.

The pain was instant and intense even though she connected just below the finger tip on my pinkie. I immediately slumped over, curled my legs around my finger, and hussled to the sink, where I soaked my finger in cold water while applying pressure to stop the bleeding. During those moments, I finally realized that I probably couldn't take a dog--if it was this much pain for just a nick on the finger, how much must it hurt to have a dog clamped firmly on your arm shaking its head? Fortunately, the cut wasn't bad though the very tip of my pinkie is quite swollen. Notice I never said that Auburn "bit" me, because that words convey malice and intent to injure. She was playing, and didn't realize what a jacka*s idiot for an owner she had :-)

Ok, enough about me and my little drama (although it's taken me much longer to type this because I don't have the use of my right pinkie...damn those p's). Bode is doing awesome. We bought him some new PJs, and here he is, modeling them after his "baff."After we put him in them, he was a bit ticked--"Horizontal stripes?" he asked. "Do you want me to look tubbier?" Of course not--in fact, we thought the little jabba was looking skinnier...until we saw the below picture taken on Saturday.The little dude still has a gut on him. And the diaper certainly doesn't make his a*s look tiny :-) But as my friend says, a tubby toddler is a tired toddler, and I have to admit, Bode sleeps like a champion, which is where he is right now. I suppose I should finish up and pretend to watch The Bachelor with Ashley (what a horrible, horrible, show, but that's a topic for another blog).

Pleasant Monday.