Door 1, Bode 0

Bode is now past 15 months, and he is quite the boy. Little boys like to move from point A to point B as fast as they can. Unfortunately, Bode doesn't quite have the fine leg dexterity that is required for speed work. Thus, in the immortal words of Cosmo Kramer, "There was an incident," at daycare last week. Nothing serious or hospital-worthy, but there was blood and tears. Bode was "hauling a*s" across the room and tripped over the carpet. His little alligator arms weren't fast enough to brace the fall, so Whamo! Face first onto the floor. Lots of blood from his nose and mouth, but he shook it off and was playing again in less than ten minutes.

Unfortunately, the exact same thing happened on Saturday at the grocery store. We go there early Saturday mornings, so there isn't a big crowd. We let Bode explore while we shop. There he was strolling along when his feet got tangled, and Whamo! again. Face first onto the grocery mart floor. I didn't realize the severity until I saw Ashley holding him, blood pouring down his face. The store personnel were quite helpful (ice, water, and a couple lollipops), and in a few minutes, the little dude had calmed down.

Tonight, Bode had another fall. This one left a mark. He was walking into the sun-room. His feet must have gotten tangled up in the floor-runners, because next thing we knew, we had a screaming kid. Bode didn't hit the ground, but rather, his face slammed into the metal rails on the wall upon which the door closes. You can see the line running down his face just under his eye. Poor little fella...but we suppose there are only going to be more incidents as time goes by.

Nothing else exciting. My immune system continues to take a beating in the post-Bode era, as I had a 101 degree fever last night, and seem to have developed YET ANOTHER COLD. Fortunately, Bode is fine. Evidently he's just the conduit through which the germs make it from daycare to our house.

Pleasant day.

An Old Dog New Tricks

Perhaps the title is a bit misleading, as no tricks are learned. Rather, this old dog (me) finally learned what many knew years ago. If you've known me long enough, perhaps you've heard me make the following boast: "Yeah, I think I could take a dog in a fight." I would say this half jokingly, but in every joke, there's a little bit of truth.

My reasoning, I believe, was sound. Even Auburn, a supposedly menacing, powerful rottie, weighs only 100 pounds. That's less than Ashley (sorry hun), and not to brag, but I'm pretty sure I could take Ashley in a wrestling match due to my 50+ pound weight advantage (provided she promises to not hit below the belt). People would argue, "But the dog can run really fast at you and pounce." My response? I'd simply charge right back at the dog, knowing my momentum is more than his and let physics take over.

Of course, I tended to overlook a few things. First, there is a wealth of empircal data which clearly shows in the showdowns featuring man-v-dog (excluding matches where chiahuahuas represented the canines), the dog usually comes out the victor. I discarded this data, as I figured no one as savvy as me ever got involved in a dog fight. I also looked past the data point I obtained from John Q. Policeman, a dog-handler I met in Alabama. He said, "No one can beat the dog." Yeah, well, it was also said no one could run a sub-four minute mile either (granted I've never done so but that's beside the point). Finally, and most importantly, I tended to ignore just how painful it is to actually be bitten by a dog. I think I failed to realize this because in all those dog-attack training videos, the guy getting bit is in a huge, dog-proof suit.

So there we were this weekend, Auburn and me, playing in the den. I had out the big bouncy ball that so infuriates Auburn when I slam it into the ground. She'll leap at the ball and snap at it, and try to pin it down with her paws. Now, tell me what was wrong with the following thought process: It'd be funny if I throw the ball and just as Auburn tries to bite it, quickly grab it and pull it away. Hmmm. Surely you see the recipe for disaster? It was at times like this that it would be nice if the little angel on my left shoulder spoke just a bit louder, because I don't move as fast as I think I do. Ball is tossed. Auburn jumps, jaws chomping. I grab ball, and pull away. Alas, I was too slow.

The pain was instant and intense even though she connected just below the finger tip on my pinkie. I immediately slumped over, curled my legs around my finger, and hussled to the sink, where I soaked my finger in cold water while applying pressure to stop the bleeding. During those moments, I finally realized that I probably couldn't take a dog--if it was this much pain for just a nick on the finger, how much must it hurt to have a dog clamped firmly on your arm shaking its head? Fortunately, the cut wasn't bad though the very tip of my pinkie is quite swollen. Notice I never said that Auburn "bit" me, because that words convey malice and intent to injure. She was playing, and didn't realize what a jacka*s idiot for an owner she had :-)

Ok, enough about me and my little drama (although it's taken me much longer to type this because I don't have the use of my right pinkie...damn those p's). Bode is doing awesome. We bought him some new PJs, and here he is, modeling them after his "baff."After we put him in them, he was a bit ticked--"Horizontal stripes?" he asked. "Do you want me to look tubbier?" Of course not--in fact, we thought the little jabba was looking skinnier...until we saw the below picture taken on Saturday.The little dude still has a gut on him. And the diaper certainly doesn't make his a*s look tiny :-) But as my friend says, a tubby toddler is a tired toddler, and I have to admit, Bode sleeps like a champion, which is where he is right now. I suppose I should finish up and pretend to watch The Bachelor with Ashley (what a horrible, horrible, show, but that's a topic for another blog).

Pleasant Monday.

First Haircut

We achieved another first today in the life of B. McGuirk. Being President's Day, I, of course, was off from work (just like Congress, although I only get today off; they're taking the entire week). Bode, Nana, and I had a nice morning, playing, and then Nana treated me to a sandwich at Jersey Mikes (yum yum). Ashley had to go in to the office, but cut out around 2:30. After Bode woke up from a nice nap and had a snack, we all headed to the Super Cuts for Bode's first haircut.

I think the following pictures adequately describe how the trip went. First, we have Bode sitting in the chair, his hair a ragged, unkempt mess. Obviously the boy needs a trim.
Things started off well. He didn't put up too much of a fuss when Alicia (Bode's stylist) put on the neck cloth and apron.
Alicia wet Bode's hair, and things went from good...
to bad...to worst. Little guy was crying, tears were flowing, and we thought we might have to prematurely end our little outing.Fortunately, Bode discovered the comb he was holding in his hands. Oddly enough, he was soothed simply by rubbing his fingers along the comb's teeth. After that, it was smooth sailing the rest of the way.At least until the end, when Bode didn't want to give the comb back.Being his first hair cut and all, Alicia let Bode keep the comb, thus ensuring we would return for future haircuts. Quite a transformation from the raggedy guy that came into the store just ten minutes ago.I better notify daycare they got trouble coming tomorrow in the likes of a smooth criminal by the name of Bode McGuirk. Moms, better keep your girls at home :-)

Pleasant Day.

Nana's Visiting

I hope everyone is starting to thaw out from winter. It's mild here...still cool, but at least the sun is out. Ashley's Mom, JoAnne (Nana), is visiting, so she watched Bode this morning while Ashley and I did some yard work (swept the patio, raked leaves, and picked up the various presents Auburn and Dudley had left). Of course, Punxutawney Phil said six more weeks of winter, so we better not get used to it.

It's been an interesting month. Things started great with the mighty Steelers winning the Super Bowl. I, and my heart, would have preferred a not-so-spectacular ending, but it was pretty amazing. The glow of the Super Bowl victory was short-lived, because also on the first of February, the grocery store (Kroger) at which Ashley and I shop closed for renovations. You might be saying, "Jeff, this seems like a rather trivial item, and it really shouldn't upset you." Well, it does, and here's why. For those that know me, you understand I'm a little picky when it comes to how I like things (some would say punctilious, others fastidious, while Ashley chooses to just call me anal), and I'm certainly not big on change. To quote Dalton from Roadhouse, "It's my way or the highway," (you know you love that movie). Most of you shop at the same store every week, and you get into a little routine, not to mention you pretty much know where everything is. Now imagine going to a new store where nothing is where it should be. The fruit is organized haphazardly (why would you not put raspberries next to the blackberries?) The store doesn't carry your favorite type of ice-cream (how can you not have moose-tracks?). Worst of all, the store is a little smaller so the aisles have to be narrower making it difficult to maneuver (even harder when you consider the size of some Ohioans). Again, these may seem like small things, but considering my aforementioned personality type, you can easily see why grocery day was no longer the fun outing that it had been. Fortunately, this changed yesterday when we tried a different store, another Kroger further from our house. Ahh, it was like seeing an old friend again. The layout was exactly like our old store, the fruit up near the front and to the right, the milk in the back left corner, and a nearly identical aisle structure. The precise layout was a bit different--the cereal in aisle four was on the right side instead of the left, and the dog food was on the bottom shelf vice the top. But all in all, I'm a happy man again. And seeing that the great stimulus plan is going to be signed into law on Tuesday, I need to have something to feel good about :-)

Speaking of things to feel good about, how can you not smile when you have this little guy running around?Bode had a tough couple days last week--bad cough, trouble sleeping, and rather clingy. We took him to the doc...ear infections (yes, plural) and the crupe. He stayed home from daycare for two days, and for about a week, he simply wasn't the Bode-man. Fortunately, he's made a complete recovery and is back to his usual happy self.

Friday, daycare had a Valentine's Day celebration. It wasn't really a huge party but rather an excuse to leave work early on a 3-day weekend. Parents were invited to come to the two-o'clock feeding (snack) and share cupcakes. Ashley, Nana, and I went and had a very nice time. One of the other parents said this: "I wouldn't have thought Bode's parents would be so little." Of course, this is a compliment to Ashley and me, but isn't it also kind of a veiled insult to the little dude? Good thing he didn't hear her (I think he was too focused on his food...)

Bode really likes to sit in a chair. And no, not a big-person chair. A little-guy chair. He's quite content to sit, and perhaps read his favorite book or play with a toy provided it's within reach. Here's a shot of Bode and Nana just chilling... Nana must have worn Bode out this morning. During lunch, Bode couldn't even stay awake to finish his food, so you know he must have been tired.

Bode is really starting to understand things. For example, if you ask him to show you his trains, he'll walk all the way to his room and stand at his train table. If you ask him if he's ready to eat, he'll go stand by his high-chair. And if you ask him, "What's the capital of Ohio," he says, "Just Google it." He also seems close to saying "Daddy," although it really sounds like "Ta-tee." And he's a lot more vocal, making noises and sounds that are going to quickly become words.

Finally, a shot of Bode playing with his little bear (and also a shot of my can--hopefully this will increase the blog-readership, much like the swimsuit issue does for Sports Illustrated :-)
Pleasant day.

Winter is Here

Being the fitness guru that I (think I) am, on Monday I did Ashley's little aerobics class. I figured it'd be a treat for some of the ladies in the class to see a real Adonis exercising, but since he wasn't there, they were stuck with me :-) Honestly, the class was a good work out, and it was nice to do something different. Of course, the operative word is different, because, as many of you know, when the body does something different, something that it isn't quite used to, soreness is a typical result. During the class, the instructor had us grab a set of dumb-bells (I couldn't find the 50 pounders) and then do lunges an entire lap around the track. The track is 1/9 of a mile. I figure I cover about a yard with every lunge, so this equated to ~200 lunges. I hadn't done lunges in years, so come Tuesday morning, my legs were, to quote Paul Sherwin, "screaming at me." I couldn't hardly walk, bend over, go up/down stairs. I probably looked like a tall version of Bode trying to walk, stumbling around, legs not quite working as they should. Ashley, of course, found this hilarious and spent the day reminding me that it was the "little girly aerobics class" that did this to me, to which I responded, "How did Auburn do in football this year?"

Tuesday night, we had an ice/sleet storm followed by 10-12 inches of snow. Therefore, the base shut down, which meant we all stayed home. Here's a shot from our front porch. It kind of reminds me of Colorado...without the mountains.
Ashley had the foresight to bring her work computer home before the storm in case of such an event. She spent the day holed up in the office, while Bode and I spent the day playing. (Un)fortunately, the storm was so bad, the base was also closed on Wednesday. Two days stuck in the house entertaining a one-year old was challenging, but it was fun to hang out with the little dude. We noticed he has the strongest thighs of anyone in the world. He squats down and gets his butt iches off the ground while keeping his feet flat. He remains in this position for minutes at a time, playing, laughing, whatever. Maybe he'll be a gymnast...It's Saturday, just over 24 hours until kickoff of Super Bowl XLIII. It's freezing here--high of 15 or so, which means today is a good day to stay inside and get the taxes in order. Maybe I'll bet the entire refund on the Steelers! Go Pittsburgh!

Sick. And Tired

The title of this post accurately describes our well being, not only now, but perhaps for the past 14 months (yes, Bode has been alive 14 times as long as William Henry Harrison was in office--don't you just love those inauguration facts???). Going into the whole parent-thing, I knew sleepiness went with the territory. What I wasn't ready for is the amount of times I'd be sick. Oh sure, I figured Bode would get a bunch of colds and other things, but I thought, based on 35+ years of building up my immune system, that I'd be relative safe from most of the junk Bode brought home. I guess I wasn't counting on that whole "virus mutation" thing. In the days P.B. (pre-Bode for those new to the blog), I would catch a cold about once a year. I figured my immune system was in tip-top shape. Obviously I was mistaken because during the past 14 months, I've had a cold on six separate occasions. And not just a trifle case of the sniffles. A full-blown, pounding head, sinus cavity full of snot cold. In addition to the colds I also got a real bad case of the flu (although part of me blames the flu-shot for that one).

As you might have guessed, inferred, deduced, or whatever you wish to call it, Sherlock, Ashley and I both have colds. Or, as we say it, "codes." Or, as Bode says it, "Da-da." Yes, he says "Da-da" but not in any way referring to me--anything but me is "Da-da."

Despite keeping the Kleenex people in business, we had a relatively nice weekend. Big props to the mighty Pittsburgh Steelers (not to say I told you so, but I did). Bode, for some reason, wasn't all that into the game. In fact, he spent a lot of Sunday playing with his fake cell-phone.
This past weekend, we fed Bode some jello and decided, just for grins, to see if he could use a spoon. To our amazement, he did quite well. He couldn't really get the jello onto the spoon, but he knew what to do with it once it was in place. Of course, a new eating routine means more food on the floor, hence the omnipresent rotty during feeding. Note also Bode is using his left-hand...looks like we may have a south-paw.
Finally, many of you have asked for a picture of the train table we got Bode for Christmas. Here he is playing trains--obviously he loves it. One of the locomotives is battery powered, so we can turn it on and let it go. Bode will do laps, following the train around the table. Best of all, chasing the train is sort of like running laps around a track, so hopefully he's burning off some of that spare tire...
Ashley is thrilled now that dull, boring college football season is over. You probably didn't know she's a rabid women's basketball fan, and as luck would have it, the Lady Cougars, err, Tigers, are 18-0, ranked #6 in the nation (does the word bandwagon come to mind?) Anyways, I think they're on TV this week, so if you have nothing better to do, your taxes are done, and your laundry is all folded, you might want to check them out. Or you could watch more inauguration coverage--I'm sure that'll still be going on...

Pleasant day. Ahhh chooo.

So Cold It's Like the Hoth System*

OMG!! It is sooo cold here in the great city of Dayton. The high today was six. You know it's cold when you can give the temperature by using only your fingers (and this is even in Fahrenheit!) Anyways, you probably noticed my little acronym to start this post. For those of you that don't know, OMG is short for 'oh my God.' When texting (which, from what I understand, is quite popular with the young people, the kids, the little teeny-boppers), one uses an array of acronyms so you can say the same thing with fewer keystrokes. Since Bode is going to be a teenager some day, I thought it best to educate myself on the ins and outs of texting--I certainly don't want to have him speaking/texting in code behind my back--, so each week, I'm trying to learn one or two text-words. Some people learn Spanish, I choose to learn teen-speak...

I expect everyone to be in their favorite comfy chair at 6:30 PM EDT on Sunday, their televisions (hopefully hi-definition; if not, you are a blasphemer) tuned to CBS for the AFC Championship Game, featuring the mighty Pittsburgh Steelers versus the Ravens of Baltimore. It should be a great game--what's that I hear? Some nay-sayers think Baltimore will win? NFW! (Did I use that text-term right? :-)

Bode has been doing great. This week, he started in the "pre-toddler" room, which is for children ages 1-2. He made the transition quite easily, probably because he was reunited with his best buddy, Jase. Jase was in the 6-12 month room with Bode, but moved up rooms about a month before Bode left. Ms. Thea and Ms. Paulyn would tell stories about how Bode and Jase were so cute--Bode would walk over and shove Jase, and then Jase would smack Bode. Gotta love how kids play...Here's a shot, taken a few months ago, of the boys just hanging out. Twenty years from now, you better hope you don't run into these hoodlums in a dark alley...
We've been stuck indoors due to the bitter cold. Here are a couple shots of us trying to entertain Bode. First, it's not the best picture, but it's Bode sitting on my lap in front of the piano. Ashley said he was making the cutest faces while he was banging on the keys. No doubt he was playing a masterful composition...at least in his head he was. Next, we have Bode riding his little Sesame Street scooter that Uncle Pat and Aunt Dana got him for Christmas. He hasn't figured out how to use his feet to push himself along, but he will pick them up when you push him so they don't drag. Bode has logged many miles riding on his little machine, most of which were covered with Ashley pushing him.I'm not one to use this blog for political soap boxes, nor do I really try to push my beliefs on the dear readers. However, if you could, consider the following "hypothetical" situation. Suppose there's a family of three--husband, wife, child--that has two dogs. Said husband and wife were outside in the yard, doing what is not important. When they come back inside, one of them realized they have a large chunk of dog crap on their shoe (as Forrest Gump says, sh*t happens). Now I contend the proper thing to do would be to remove said shoe and place in the garage, let said do-do dry, harden, and then take the shoe out into the street and slam it onto the pavement in order to jar away the undesired matter. There are probably other ways to accomplish the objective, but I firmly believe the way to NOT handle the situation is 1) remove the shoe and use the kitchen sink faucet to rinse the shoe, splattering little pieces of dung onto the counter and then 2) use one of the dinner forks to dig into the tread of said shoe in order to scrape out the now wet, smelly, stinky dog manure.

Am I wrong in thinking this? Possibly, but my gut tells me I'm right. Please, remember it's just a hypothetical situation. Now, anyone want to come over for dinner? You can use a spoon if you want...

Pleasant evening, and Happy MLK Day.

* The Hoth System was the ice planet in Empire Strikes Back...but you probably knew that already.