24

The following takes place between the hours of 6 am and 7 am on…hell, I don’t even know what day today is. Ashley, what day is it? You don’t know either? Well, let's just say this takes place some day before Christmas in December 2007...

06:00

Sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff. Scratch scratch. Yaaawn. Gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee. Go outside go pee. Gotta pee gotta pee. Go outside go pee. Use your door use your door. Go outside go pee go outside go pee go outside go pee. Use your door use your door. Sniff sniff sniff. Squirrels squirrels squirrels busy squirrels digging squirrels. Sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff. Dirt, dig in dirt dig in dirt. No. No bad dog bad dog dig no dig no dirt smells good no dig no dig no dig bad dog bad dog no dig. Gotta pee find spot gotta pee find spot sniff sniff sniff pee sniff sniff pee gotta pee sniff pee here pee here.

Sniff sniff sniff. Dirt smells good no dig no dig bad dog. Sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff. Squirrels, chase squirrels, chase squirrels. Listen…Listen…Listen…

ALARM ALARM ALARM ALARM. Front door ALARM ALARM ALARM ALARM Front door front door front door ALARM ALARM ALARM. Inside ALARM inside ALARM front door front door front door. Run run run run run protect protect protect protect protect

“WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF! GRRRR. WOOF WOOF WOOF!”

“Auburn, we go through this every day,” a groggy Jeff says from the bedroom. “It’s just the newspaper man.”

ALARM ALARM. Listen…Listen…listen…no sound, good dog, protect, chase bad chase bad, protect.

“Ruff!”

Hear Daddy, hear Daddy, find Daddy find Daddy find Daddy. Back room Daddy, find Daddy, back room Daddy, smell Daddy, smell Mommy, sniff sniff sniff. Nuzzle nuzzle. Paws. Smell Daddy, smell Daddy, lick lick lick.

“Auburn, it’s soo early,” Jeff says, as Auburn tries to lick his face. He reaches out his hand and tries to push her away.

Hand lick hand lick hand tastes good lick hand lick hand lick hand lick hand lick lick lick lick lick.

“Stop licking me, dog,” Jeff whispers, although he keeps his hand near Auburn’s mouth. She continues to lick him until he acquiesces and starts rubbing her face and ears.

Rub head rub head rub head. Ears, scratch ears scratch ears scratch ears. Rub scratch rub scratch under chin under chin under chin scratch under chin scratch between eyes scratch between eyes love that love that rub butt rub butt rub butt hand gone hand gone lick lick lick lick. Sniff sniff.

Jeff pulls his hand away. “Did you get much sleep, hon?” he asks.

“Some,” Ashley replies. “The little man was crying at 2, but he settled down quickly. I fed him at 3 and he went back to sleep pretty easy.”

“Really, you were up and out of bed twice? You must be really quiet when you do this.”

“Not particularly. I just think a hibernating bear is more easily disturbed than you,” Ashley jokes.

“You know you can wake me if you need any help…”

“Oh, I’m only kidding. Only one of us should get up. After I feed him, if you just watch him so I can take a little nap?”

“Roger that,” Jeff says as he stretches his whole body. He yawns once, then again, and says, “I suppose I should take her.”

Take her take her take her take her. Listen…listen…listen…take her take her take her…listen listen listen. Sit good dog sit good dog listen listen listen.

“Auburn, you want to go for a…walk?” Jeff says as he rises out of bed.

WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK. Watch…Daddy up Daddy up Daddy up Daddy up follow Daddy WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK Daddy shoes Daddy shoes Daddy shoes WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK Daddy shoes follow Daddy follow Daddy follow Daddy follow Daddy. Look, watch, LEASH LEASH LEASH LEASH See LEASH See LEASH Hop Hop Hop WALK WALK WALK.

“Auburn, sit still and let me put this on you.” Jeff wraps the collar around the rottie’s massive neck. He slips on a hat and gloves and heads for the door.

“You ok, Ash?” he asks.

“Fine, I’ll just nap until you get back.”

“Ok, we’ll be back.” Jeff opens the door and Auburn tears outside.

WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK…

Jeff closes the door and Ashley starts to fall back asleep.

“Waahhh, waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“Ah, crap,” Ashley says.

06:18

Sleep sleep sleep sleep twitch twitch sleep sleep sleep sleep. Gurgle gurgle gurgle. Sleep sleep sleep sleep. Gurgle. Lip smack lip smack lip smack. Sleep twitch sleep twitch. Twitch. Eyes open. Dark dark dark. Lip smack. Twitch. Push push push push push. Dark alone dark alone all alone alone scared.

“Waahhh, waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“Bode, whats’a matter,” Ashley mumbles, not expecting a reply but hoping the sound of her voice would soothe the infant. “It’s ok, buddy, Mommy’s near.”

Sound listen sound listen sound nice voice nice voice nice voice recognize voice nice voice. Need voice need voice need voice. More more more. Scared alone scared alone need voice hold me hold me hold me hold me hold

“Waahhh, waah, waah, waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“C’mom little man, calm down.”

Voice voice voice need voice need hold hold hold need hold scared so scared scared alone alone alone voice need voice alone alone alone scared scared scared

“Waahhhhhhhhhhhhh, wah, wah, waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Ashley realizes her sleep is over. She stumbles out of bed and puts on her robe and slippers. She walks into the nursery and flicks on the light.

“Mommy’s here, Bode, Mommy’s here,” she says kneeling over the crib.

Mommy mommy mommy milk mommy milk mommy mommy mommy. See face face Mommy face Mommy face soothe soothe soothe. Calm calm calm. Gurgle. Coo.

“That’s my little guy, that’s my little guy,”

Coo coo. Gurgle. Whoa. Push push push push push. Ahhhhhh.

“Waah, waaahhh!”

“Excuse you! You have some gas this morning little man…oh, Bode, you stink! Where’d that come from? Bill Cosby was right—odor comes after two weeks.” She scoops him out of the crib and carries him gently over to the changing table, patting him gently on the back.

Messy messy dirty messy dirty messy messy. Mommy mommy arms hold hold mommy. Down, no like down no like cold, cold cold cold. Arms cold cold cold back cold cold cold so cold cold cold no like no like no like. Control can’t control can’t control so cold

“I know, little buddy, it’s cold in here. Wow, you made a mess and hey! Ah, jeez, where’s a wash-cloth.” Ashley fumbles for a wash-cloth and places it over Bode’s mid-section.

“You peed on me, you little rascal,” Ashley says, not upset because even though being peed on sounds disgusting, it is funny to a first-time parent—at least the first few times. In another couple weeks, it won’t be. She cleans him up, finishes changing him, and puts on a new, clean outfit.

“These still don’t fit you so well,” Ashley says, trying to work Bode’s legs into the onesie. An inch of fabric dangles off both his feet and Ashley scoops him into her arms. Ashley carries Bode out to the kitchen and sets Bode in his swing. She then goes back to the nursery and gets the messy diaper and rags from the morning change.

Warm warm warm warm. Calm calm calm. So warm clean dry clean dry clean dry. Mommy mommy mommy mommy. Coo coo coo. Gurgle. Down alone mommy where Mommy motion rocking rocking rocking calm calm calm. Ahhh. Gurgle

06:39

Jeff and Auburn come through the front door, their walk completed.

“Go to the kitchen, Auburn,” Jeff says removing her leash. He then heads downstairs to the garage, holding the smelly plastic baggy.

Kitchen kitchen kitchen food want food want food kitchen kitchen kitchen. Sniff sniff sniff. Little fellow little fellow protect little fellow protect little fellow protect little fellow alone protect little fellow. Sniff sniff sniff. Clean.

“What are you doing out here?” Jeff asks, seeing Ashley in the garage near the trash cans.

“Disposing of a messy diaper,” she says.

“Hey, me too,” Jeff says holding up the plastic baggy. “What do you know. It’s not even 7 am and we’ve both dealt with some sh*t already. We should do a commercial.” Ashley does not laugh at this weak attempt at humor. She merely nods and the two head back upstairs. In the kitchen they find Bode in his swing and Auburn parked in front of him. She is seated in front of Bode, not watching Bode but watching around him. Auburn sees Ashley and runs over to deliver a good morning.

“Good morning, girl,” Ashley says scratching the dog’s hind legs.

“I’ll feed the pups; you get some breakfast before you feed him,” Jeff says motioning toward Bode. “Auburn, you want some food?”

Mama scratch butt scratch butt scratch butt FOOD? Food food food love food food food love food need food hungry hungry food food food food food. Sniff sniff sniff. Food love food sniff sniff sniff. No meat?

Jeff scoops two cups of dry dog food into Auburns bowl and places a handful of the same into Dudley’s bowl. Auburn immediately attacks her bowl but stops almost as quickly. She looks at Jeff, as if asking something.

“That’s all you get, girl. No wet stuff in the morning.”

Food food food. No wet no wet food no wet no wet. Hungry hungry hungry eat. Eat eat eat.

Ashley gets two bowls from the cabinets and put the boxes of cereal on the table while Bode watches from his swing.

“Where’s Dudley?” Jeff asks.

06:51

Sleep sleep sleep. Snore snore snore. Snort snort snort sleep sleep sleep. Noise listen noise listen noise hear noise. Awake. Sniff sniff sniff sniff. Mama gone mama gone. Sniff sniff sniff. Mama gone mama gone daddy gone daddy gone alone alone alone. Scared scared.

“Wuff,” comes a very weak, muffled bark from the master bedroom. Jeff and Ashley, too intent on their breakfasts, do not hear it.

Alone alone scared scared alone gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee. No bad dog no pee no pee gotta pee no bad dog gotta pee gotta pee. Gotta pee gotta pee. Alone alone scared. Gotta pee gotta pee no bad dog bad dog gotta pee.

“Where’s Dudley?” Jeff asks.

“I don’t know—I thought you let him out before you walked Auburn.”

“No, he was on the bed last I saw him. You didn’t let him out either?”

“No.” Jeff gets up and hurries back to the bedroom.

Noise noise footsteps here I’m here I’m here I’m here I’m here.

“Wuff wuff wuff.”

“I hear you, Dud,” Jeff says coming into the bedroom and picking Dudley off the bed. He carries him to the back door and lets him outside, apologizing to him for having forgotten about him. In response, Dudley sneezes on Jeff.

“Thanks, little man,” Jeff says, shooing Dudley outside.

Sniff sniff sniff sniff. Gotta pee gotta pee. Sniff sniff sniff. Mud mud sniff mud gotta pee. Here pee here.

“All done?” Jeff asks to Dudley opening the door and letting the pug back inside. Jeff then uses his foot to direct the blind pug to his food bowl.

Sniff sniff nudge left nudge left nudge right nudge right sniff sniff sniff food. Eat eat eat.

06:59

“We going to try to venture out today?” Ashley asks.

“Do you think we’re ready to go places with the little guy?”

“I think so.”

“Me too. Where should we go?”

"How about..."

Motion motion motion motion motion. Calm calm. Soothing. Calm. Motion motion hungry motion. Hungry calm hungry calm. Mommy. Sniff sniff. Milk milk motion motion milk motion. Mommy mommy mommy. Milk hungry hungry milk motion calm milk hungry milk mommy milk mommy milk milk milk milk milk milk milk milk boob boob boob want boob

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

“Looks like it’s time to feed him,” Ashley says.

07:00