Another Dull February Day...

Friday, 15 February 2008. The only word to describe it would be tragedy, and that doesn't do it justice. The Eydes have struck a month early at the McGuirk household. What has happened? Rest assured, Bode is fine. However, during our morning getting-ready-for-work routine (which, pre-baby took us 45 minutes tops; post-baby, we're lucky to get out of the house in under 2 hours), the cable went out. Thinking this was just a temporary problem, we thought nothing of it. Returning home that afternoon, we found the cable was still out. I placed a call to Time Warner's technical support line. I spoke with Leon, a Time Warner support professional. He took us through a detailed trouble-shooting procedure:
"I want you to hold the power button down. This will reboot your cable box," Leon told me.
"Ok," I said, and we waited for a few minutes for the cycle to complete itself.
"Is it working now?" Leon asked.
"No," I replied.
"Ok, we're going to try something different. Can you physically unplug the box from the wall?"
"Yes, do you want me to do that?"
"Yeah, unplug it, but wait three minutes before you plug it back in."
"What does the three minutes do?" I asked.
"The hardware has an internal clock, and the three minutes lets it reset itself," he responded. I thought about pressing him on this statement, asking for specifics but then realized he's probably reading from a script, and questions just make his job harder. We waited the three minutes, and I plugged the unit back in. Still, no dice.
"Sir, I've done all I can do. I'm going to have to schedule a service call. How's Sunday between 8 and 11?"
"That will be fine. Thank you for all your help."

We've been without cable TV for 48+ hours now. It's 10 am Sunday morning, and the cable guy still hasn't shown up. I suppose I was being naive to think he would show up at the beginning of the scheduled window. I've heard rumors of people being told the cable guy would show up between 12 and 4, and the guy shows up at 12:05. I've also heard rumors of the Loch Ness monster and of alien spaceships being stored at Wright Patterson AFB; until I actually see it for myself, I won't believe it. But there has to be people out there that have been on the happy side of the dreaded cable service window; I'm just not one of them. I'm sure at 10:55, our doorbell will ring...

So how have we gotten by without cable TV? Surely man and woman would die if they couldn't watch The Soup Friday night at 10 pm on E!, or This Old House, or The Food Network where any number of chefs make an awesome looking meal in under 30 minutes. How can we go on not having watched Bridezillas, Bringing Home Baby, or The Shawshank Redemption for the fortieth time? Can you imagine the horror if this were a college football weekend, and we had to resort to (gasp) the radio to follow an Auburn football game?

Amazingly enough, we are getting along fine. At first, Ashley was quite bored when she fed Bode, as she typically would park herself in front of the TV and zone out while the little guy ate. She quickly developed a way to read and feed him at the same time. Thanks to the absence of TV, she's already 150 pages into The Kite Runner and hasn't really complained (although if this were a Tuesday, she'd most definitely be in Idol withdrawal). I've done fine without TV, but it does pain me to think I've probably missed a couple HBO showings of Revenge of the Sith. I've read a lot ( Forever Odd by Dean Koontz and some magazines), the house is clean, and the laundry is all done. I'd say this no-TV thing isn't half bad.

I took a lot of pictures of Bode the past couple days. Here are the best. We were actually able to get a couple shots with the kiddo smiling. This isn't to say he doesn't smile a lot. It's just whenever we bring out the camera, he stares at it trying to figure out what it is, which is not conducive to smiles. Thus, we had to be sneaky about getting these pictures. First, Bode and Mama. She quickly handed Bode to me, hoping to get a shot of the two of us smiling. Here's the result. No smiles for one that doesn't bear milk...
Here's a shot of Bode when I have the camera where he can see it. I kept trying to get him to smile, but, as I said, he just stares at the camera. In this shot, he looks pissed...
I then hid the camera, got him to smile, and quickly snapped the following shot. The lighting is bad, but you can see a big grin.Finally, per most posts, we end with a picture of Bode with Auburn. The two are becoming best of friends.
Pleasant day to you all (FYI: It's now 10:38 and still no cable guy.)

Two Months, a Weigh-in, and a Birthday

Hello to everyone on this happy February day, the first weekend in a long time when football is not an option (don't go saying the Pro Bowl counts as a game, because it doesn't; who wants to watch a bunch of millionaires on vacation in Hawaii while we're freezing our tails off in Ohio?) We've been happy and well. Ashley started back to work, half-time this past week, three-quarter time next week, and then the dreaded full time starting in two weeks. Bode has been going to day-care, and he's had no ill-effects. He's still his happy self that smiles and likes to play peekaboo and pull on his toy lion. He had his two month check-up on Tuesday. Bode weighed in at 10 pounds, 8 ounces, and is 22 inches long. For you math whizzes, this means every two months, Bode gains 40% of his body weight (he was 7 lbs, 8 oz when born). At this rate, he'll be 425 pounds by the time he's 2 years old. I didn't realize babies got that big by their second birthday...


At the doctor's office, Bode received his first set of vaccinations. As expected, he was not too fond of the needle, as he let out a silent scream for a couple seconds right after receiving the injection followed by a blood-curdling cry for a few minutes. Mama was able to calm him down and afterwards, he seemed none the worse for wear. He's been sleeping through the night consistently, for which we are extremely grateful, and we've started reading to him. I tried to read Fury by Aaron Allston, which (as I'm sure everyone knows) is book 7 in the Legacy of the Force series. He seemed uninterested, which makes me wonder if the hospital gave us the wrong baby, because how could my son be disinterested in anything related to Star Wars??? Bode does like the Frog and Toad stories, and he also loves it when I sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, you read that right; he loves the sound of my singing voice. Auburn, on the other hand, howls horrifically during the song, and I can only guess her howling is her way of expressing dissatisfaction...


Quick sidebar: If anyone is looking for some good books to read, you might want to give The Good Guy by Dean Koontz, Odd Thomas, also by Dean Koontz, or The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Folliet a try. All were very good. I started listening to books during the drive to and from work (there is no time to read at home). I've found this much more interesting than listening to the election coverage, and the sports radio shows are boring until football season starts again. Anyways, sorry about this commercial, but I figured with the writer's strike, you might be getting bored with TV reruns and looking for other entertainment outlets. If books are not your thing, we just finished season 1 of the HBO series, Rome. It was awesome and we highly recommend it. Another good watch was Fast Food Nation, but if you don't really want to know where steaks, ground beef, and sirloin comes from, this flick is not for you (nor is it suitable for those under 15). Ashley and I want to watch The King of Kong which is a documentary about two guys trying to set the high score in Donkey Kong. It sounds stupid, but the reviews have been top marks.


Here are some pictures. First, we have Bode playing on the dining room table. He's looking at his toy elephant, which he's able to reach for, grab, and pull. Hours of entertainment right there.Next, we have Daddy and Bode going for a walk with Auburn. Bode is strapped into his Baby-Bjorn device, which serves as a great simulator for Daddy who now understands what Ashley went through during the last trimester of her pregnancy. Daddy was really puffing on the walk especially on those hills (yes, he's old and out of shape). In the future, we plan on getting a saddle and letting Auburn haul Bode around. Here's a cute shot of Bode and Mommy. Hard to say who the kid looks like, but we do think he got my wonderful widow's peak hairline along with a nice array of cowlicks. Sorry about that, little guy.
Finally, here's a shot of Auburn and Bode after a full day of playing. Evidently each was exhausted.

We have birthday this week. Auburn, our little puppy, turns 8 years old on 10 February. They grow up so fast, don't they?

Pleasant Day to all.

All is Well in Bodeville

As the title of the post says, things are going quite well. Bode seems to be getting less and less fussy each day and has very few melt-downs, although when they happen, get your ear plugs. He's going to sleep right after the final feeding at 11 pm and wakes up between 6 and 7. He'll gurgle around 2 or 3, sometimes for an hour or so. Luckily, my hearing must be going because I don't hear anything unless he screams. Ashley, on the other hand, can hear the slightest noise from the baby's room ("Jeffy, did you hear that?" "What?" "I think I heard Bode's hair grow...") Because of this, she's not able to sleep quite as well as me, but I think most mother's have developed this supernatural sense of hearing. Somehow, though, she seems to not hear me when I ask her to curtail the spending. I guess it's a kind of selective mechanism, eh?

Ashley starts back to work this week, but only half-time. She'll be working from home--hopefully she's better at that than me, because I found even the tiniest distraction at home to be the bane of progress (phone rings, the mail comes, Auburn wants to be scratched, etc.) Bode seems to be getting longer and heavier. We don't know how much he weighs because we don't own a scale; Ashley smashed ours to pieces at month 7 of her pregnancy. He feels heavier when we pick him up. We estimate that he's close to 10 pounds, and if any of you ever birthed a 10-pound baby, you have our deepest respect.

Now for some photos. Despite his growing, Bode is still able to take a nap on my chest. I've found there's no better heater on a cold night than a baby (their skin is always warm!) Note my cool hat. I was going for a Bret Michaels, Rock of Love look.


The next picture was taken when Bode was laying on our dining room table. I tried to get his whole body and also some background items for scale so you can see how big he's gotten. To give you some perspective, Bode is lying on a full-sized beach towel (only kidding :-)


Next, I tried to get some close-ups to show Bode's face. I took about twenty pictures, all of which were blurry. Damn kid wouldn't sit still. The following are the best I could do. He's got some type of smile-thing going in the second picture, but it's not one of his better ones. He'll give ear-to-ear grins to Mommy; the boy certainly knows on which side his bread is buttered.

Finally, a picture of Bode and Daddy. Bode was going for the calm, cool, and collected look. I think he succeeded. I have some goofy gay head tilt going; it's only a matter of time before Bode is too embarrassed to be seen in public with good ol' Dad. Even now, he's probably thinking, "Please, don't let Daddy post this where anyone can see it."
Pleasant day to you all.

Where, Oh Where, Does the Time Go?

Please accept my apologies for not posting in such a long time (19 days). I'd like to say it's because we've been so busy with activities and accomplishments. Sadly, no such luck. Although every night we go to bed, exhausted and drained, it seems as if we've done nothing of significance. Take today for example. Bode woke up at 0500, a good hour considering he went to bed at 2300 (6 hours of continuous sleep). He's done this before, which is a good thing, although it's not yet a consistent habit. Ashley fed him, and the three of us promptly went back to sleep. Well, Bode went back to sleep. Ashley and I remained in that daze between sleep and wakefulness, debating whether we should get up but not quite summoning the motivation. Neither of us really knew how tired we'd be once we had a kid. In fact, when we sleep, we dream of sleeping.

Three restless hours passed. Even Auburn was feeling lazy, just sitting on her bed licking her paws. Eventually Bode woke back up and wanted to feed. Once this was done, we had to scamper because Ashley has been going to a 0915 aerobics class the past two weeks. The docs gave her the go-ahead to get back to exercising and she's working her tail off trying to take off that baby weight (her tail is where most of it currently resides). Bode has been going with her. While she does kick-boxing, he has a strict workout regime of sleep and more sleep. Bode is still in that phase where even the shortest of car rides knocks him out. To date, I don't think the gym day-care employees have seen his eyes open, and he's been there seven times. After we worked out, we came home and cleaned up taking advantage of the peace and quiet resulting from the soporific car ride. Around 1130, it was again time to feed, both Bode and then ourselves. After lunch, I really don't know what we did for an hour. Bode was fussy so a lot of that time was appeasing him. He'd cry and whail, and then gurgle and coo. Just when we thought he was fine, another wave would hit. I then volunteered to watch him so Ashley could run to the store. She's just returned and is again feeding the little man. So, we've been awake for 9+ hours today and all we've done is 1) gone to the gym; 2) showered; 3) run an errand and 4) fed and changed Bode a number of times. Not exactly a superlative list of accolades, huh? But, that being said, we certainly are enjoying our time with the little man.

Bode is doing great. His favorite time seems to be in the mornings. He makes all sorts of noises (vocal and other), and he'll smile a lot, especially at Ashley. I think Bode still sees me as a guy that hangs out with the milk lady. He's had a number of baths and seems to like it (except when Daddy made the water too hot). His head still flops around like an untethered buoy, but he is able to hold it up for a few seconds every now and then. I started going in regularly the second week of January, so Ashley has been taking care of Bode solo. My Mom did come out for a visit and Bode seemed to enjoy the extra attention.

We got him into the daycare facility next to my office, and he'll start that the second week of February when Ashley goes back to work. We've introduced one bottle feeding a day, which he took to without complaint. Ashley is both excited and dreading returning to work. I know she misses talking with adults during the day. However, since 28 November, she hasn't been away from Bode for more than two hours. To ease the transition, she plans on first working half days for a week, and then back full time.

I will try to post more often--pictures especially because I know most of you don't want to read my idiotic banter. I did get the following shot of Bode this morning. He was smiling right before this, but my pitiful abilities with the camera were not fast enough to catch it.
Pleasant MLK Day (a federal holiday for you non-government workers),

New Year, New Life

Happy 2008 to everyone! What a great start to this New Year. I'm sure everyone spent New Year's Eve Day watching the Mighty Air Force Falcons play Cal in the Armed Forces Bowl. USAFA went out to a 21-0 lead, and was driving and would surely have gone up by 10 points in the late 3rd quarter when their star QB went down with a torn ACL and MCL. Without him, AF eventually lost. I'm going to declare victory anyways (someone notify ESPN so they update the bowl standings). Following the USAFA victory, Bode and I needed a nap.
And speaking of naps (a little side-bar here): I think the phrase "Sleeping like a baby," is grossly misinterpreted. From my vast experience, babies are not church-quiet when they are sleeping. Lots of gurgles, coughs, squirms. It's really hard to sleep next to one, although, as evidenced by the above picture, I did manage to do so. "As smooth as a baby's bottom" is another misnomer. Lots of bumps and undulations, creases and crinkles. But I digress...

We woke up for the night's big game: Clemson vs. Auburn. In case you didn't know, Auburn fired their offensive coordinator (for being anything but) and hired a new guy. They put in a new system for the bowl game, so we didn't really know what to expect. We screamed, hollared, and whooped for 3+ hours--Ashley did cuss a few times, but I managed to hit the sensor button and keep Bode's fragile mind untainted. The game ended with an Auburn score in overtime to win the game. Even Bode got into the spirit--TOUCHDOWN, AUBURN!
All five of us made our New Year's resolutions. Dudley resolved to sleep less--he thought he was becoming too lazy--is 22 hours a day of sleep too much? Auburn resolved to not bark at the mailman. She got through New Year's Day ok; today, she seems to have forgotten her promise. Bode resolved to learn a new language (English), Ashley resolved to not gain those 30 pounds like she did last year, and Jeff resolved to write that novel (no really, he means it this time :-)

Merry Christmas

Happy Holidays to Everyone! We hope you all had a nice enjoyable Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus. If you're anything like us, you are off until after the New Year. We have so many exciting things planned for this week--change Bode about 100 times, feed him six squares a day, burp him often, clean the occasional spit-up, and work desparately to catch some zzz's in the interims. Can anyone top that for excitement???

We had a wonderful Christmas. It all began a few days ago with anxious anticipation for the arrival of St. Nick.
How could Santa even think about leaving a lump of coal for these three angels? For those that haven't been to our house (the vast majority of you dear readers), the wallpaper is not our doing; we plan on removing that sometime in 2008. What's sad is this wall paper is probably the tamest of our wall decor...we have some other walls that aren't suitable to show even on the internet (FCC regulations prevent such graphic images...)

JoAnne, Frank, and Jason (Bode's grandparents and uncle) arrived on 22 December. They tried to sit and rest after their long journey, but Auburn had something else in mind.
Nana brought lots of goodies and sweets, and we passed the days before Christmas gorging ourselves. In between meals, Jeff tried to sneak into the gift pile, but Auburn was assigned guard duty and kept him at bay...
Finally, after much eating, Christmas morning arrived. Bode got into the spirit by putting on his Christmas bib. And before you say anything, yes, he's lying on the dining room table. He seems to enjoy that--probably likes looking at the overhead lights.
Before we opened our gifts, we posed for a family portrait.
Bode wouldn't sit still because he was sooo excited about opening his presents (which is why the picture is blurry). We spent the next couple hours opening gifts. Bode loaded up and received tons of clothes and little knick-knacks. He was so excited, he fell asleep amidst the carnage of boxes, paper and bows...
On Christmas night, we all went to a place called Clifton's Mills--an old mill next to the river with 3.5 million Christmas lights (yes, really). The weather was seasonably warm and the light shows were very pretty. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera and don't have a single picture, but I don't think pictures of lights show up well anyways. This morning, JoAnne, Frank, and Jason headed back down to Florida. We might try to go shopping and catch some of the Christmas sales, but we're not sure. We hope you all have a great end of 2007 and really ring in the new year--if you have any good new year stories (drank so much you ended up naked on a train to Montreal, went to Vegas, stayed at the Luxor, and woke up three days later in the real Egypt, etc.), please share them with us. And remember: there are only 365 days until Christmas (2008 is a leap year). You better not be naughty because someone is always watching you!Pleasant day to all.

24

The following takes place between the hours of 6 am and 7 am on…hell, I don’t even know what day today is. Ashley, what day is it? You don’t know either? Well, let's just say this takes place some day before Christmas in December 2007...

06:00

Sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff. Scratch scratch. Yaaawn. Gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee. Go outside go pee. Gotta pee gotta pee. Go outside go pee. Use your door use your door. Go outside go pee go outside go pee go outside go pee. Use your door use your door. Sniff sniff sniff. Squirrels squirrels squirrels busy squirrels digging squirrels. Sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff. Dirt, dig in dirt dig in dirt. No. No bad dog bad dog dig no dig no dirt smells good no dig no dig no dig bad dog bad dog no dig. Gotta pee find spot gotta pee find spot sniff sniff sniff pee sniff sniff pee gotta pee sniff pee here pee here.

Sniff sniff sniff. Dirt smells good no dig no dig bad dog. Sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff. Squirrels, chase squirrels, chase squirrels. Listen…Listen…Listen…

ALARM ALARM ALARM ALARM. Front door ALARM ALARM ALARM ALARM Front door front door front door ALARM ALARM ALARM. Inside ALARM inside ALARM front door front door front door. Run run run run run protect protect protect protect protect

“WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF! GRRRR. WOOF WOOF WOOF!”

“Auburn, we go through this every day,” a groggy Jeff says from the bedroom. “It’s just the newspaper man.”

ALARM ALARM. Listen…Listen…listen…no sound, good dog, protect, chase bad chase bad, protect.

“Ruff!”

Hear Daddy, hear Daddy, find Daddy find Daddy find Daddy. Back room Daddy, find Daddy, back room Daddy, smell Daddy, smell Mommy, sniff sniff sniff. Nuzzle nuzzle. Paws. Smell Daddy, smell Daddy, lick lick lick.

“Auburn, it’s soo early,” Jeff says, as Auburn tries to lick his face. He reaches out his hand and tries to push her away.

Hand lick hand lick hand tastes good lick hand lick hand lick hand lick hand lick lick lick lick lick.

“Stop licking me, dog,” Jeff whispers, although he keeps his hand near Auburn’s mouth. She continues to lick him until he acquiesces and starts rubbing her face and ears.

Rub head rub head rub head. Ears, scratch ears scratch ears scratch ears. Rub scratch rub scratch under chin under chin under chin scratch under chin scratch between eyes scratch between eyes love that love that rub butt rub butt rub butt hand gone hand gone lick lick lick lick. Sniff sniff.

Jeff pulls his hand away. “Did you get much sleep, hon?” he asks.

“Some,” Ashley replies. “The little man was crying at 2, but he settled down quickly. I fed him at 3 and he went back to sleep pretty easy.”

“Really, you were up and out of bed twice? You must be really quiet when you do this.”

“Not particularly. I just think a hibernating bear is more easily disturbed than you,” Ashley jokes.

“You know you can wake me if you need any help…”

“Oh, I’m only kidding. Only one of us should get up. After I feed him, if you just watch him so I can take a little nap?”

“Roger that,” Jeff says as he stretches his whole body. He yawns once, then again, and says, “I suppose I should take her.”

Take her take her take her take her. Listen…listen…listen…take her take her take her…listen listen listen. Sit good dog sit good dog listen listen listen.

“Auburn, you want to go for a…walk?” Jeff says as he rises out of bed.

WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK. Watch…Daddy up Daddy up Daddy up Daddy up follow Daddy WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK Daddy shoes Daddy shoes Daddy shoes WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK Daddy shoes follow Daddy follow Daddy follow Daddy follow Daddy. Look, watch, LEASH LEASH LEASH LEASH See LEASH See LEASH Hop Hop Hop WALK WALK WALK.

“Auburn, sit still and let me put this on you.” Jeff wraps the collar around the rottie’s massive neck. He slips on a hat and gloves and heads for the door.

“You ok, Ash?” he asks.

“Fine, I’ll just nap until you get back.”

“Ok, we’ll be back.” Jeff opens the door and Auburn tears outside.

WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK…

Jeff closes the door and Ashley starts to fall back asleep.

“Waahhh, waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“Ah, crap,” Ashley says.

06:18

Sleep sleep sleep sleep twitch twitch sleep sleep sleep sleep. Gurgle gurgle gurgle. Sleep sleep sleep sleep. Gurgle. Lip smack lip smack lip smack. Sleep twitch sleep twitch. Twitch. Eyes open. Dark dark dark. Lip smack. Twitch. Push push push push push. Dark alone dark alone all alone alone scared.

“Waahhh, waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“Bode, whats’a matter,” Ashley mumbles, not expecting a reply but hoping the sound of her voice would soothe the infant. “It’s ok, buddy, Mommy’s near.”

Sound listen sound listen sound nice voice nice voice nice voice recognize voice nice voice. Need voice need voice need voice. More more more. Scared alone scared alone need voice hold me hold me hold me hold me hold

“Waahhh, waah, waah, waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“C’mom little man, calm down.”

Voice voice voice need voice need hold hold hold need hold scared so scared scared alone alone alone voice need voice alone alone alone scared scared scared

“Waahhhhhhhhhhhhh, wah, wah, waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Ashley realizes her sleep is over. She stumbles out of bed and puts on her robe and slippers. She walks into the nursery and flicks on the light.

“Mommy’s here, Bode, Mommy’s here,” she says kneeling over the crib.

Mommy mommy mommy milk mommy milk mommy mommy mommy. See face face Mommy face Mommy face soothe soothe soothe. Calm calm calm. Gurgle. Coo.

“That’s my little guy, that’s my little guy,”

Coo coo. Gurgle. Whoa. Push push push push push. Ahhhhhh.

“Waah, waaahhh!”

“Excuse you! You have some gas this morning little man…oh, Bode, you stink! Where’d that come from? Bill Cosby was right—odor comes after two weeks.” She scoops him out of the crib and carries him gently over to the changing table, patting him gently on the back.

Messy messy dirty messy dirty messy messy. Mommy mommy arms hold hold mommy. Down, no like down no like cold, cold cold cold. Arms cold cold cold back cold cold cold so cold cold cold no like no like no like. Control can’t control can’t control so cold

“I know, little buddy, it’s cold in here. Wow, you made a mess and hey! Ah, jeez, where’s a wash-cloth.” Ashley fumbles for a wash-cloth and places it over Bode’s mid-section.

“You peed on me, you little rascal,” Ashley says, not upset because even though being peed on sounds disgusting, it is funny to a first-time parent—at least the first few times. In another couple weeks, it won’t be. She cleans him up, finishes changing him, and puts on a new, clean outfit.

“These still don’t fit you so well,” Ashley says, trying to work Bode’s legs into the onesie. An inch of fabric dangles off both his feet and Ashley scoops him into her arms. Ashley carries Bode out to the kitchen and sets Bode in his swing. She then goes back to the nursery and gets the messy diaper and rags from the morning change.

Warm warm warm warm. Calm calm calm. So warm clean dry clean dry clean dry. Mommy mommy mommy mommy. Coo coo coo. Gurgle. Down alone mommy where Mommy motion rocking rocking rocking calm calm calm. Ahhh. Gurgle

06:39

Jeff and Auburn come through the front door, their walk completed.

“Go to the kitchen, Auburn,” Jeff says removing her leash. He then heads downstairs to the garage, holding the smelly plastic baggy.

Kitchen kitchen kitchen food want food want food kitchen kitchen kitchen. Sniff sniff sniff. Little fellow little fellow protect little fellow protect little fellow protect little fellow alone protect little fellow. Sniff sniff sniff. Clean.

“What are you doing out here?” Jeff asks, seeing Ashley in the garage near the trash cans.

“Disposing of a messy diaper,” she says.

“Hey, me too,” Jeff says holding up the plastic baggy. “What do you know. It’s not even 7 am and we’ve both dealt with some sh*t already. We should do a commercial.” Ashley does not laugh at this weak attempt at humor. She merely nods and the two head back upstairs. In the kitchen they find Bode in his swing and Auburn parked in front of him. She is seated in front of Bode, not watching Bode but watching around him. Auburn sees Ashley and runs over to deliver a good morning.

“Good morning, girl,” Ashley says scratching the dog’s hind legs.

“I’ll feed the pups; you get some breakfast before you feed him,” Jeff says motioning toward Bode. “Auburn, you want some food?”

Mama scratch butt scratch butt scratch butt FOOD? Food food food love food food food love food need food hungry hungry food food food food food. Sniff sniff sniff. Food love food sniff sniff sniff. No meat?

Jeff scoops two cups of dry dog food into Auburns bowl and places a handful of the same into Dudley’s bowl. Auburn immediately attacks her bowl but stops almost as quickly. She looks at Jeff, as if asking something.

“That’s all you get, girl. No wet stuff in the morning.”

Food food food. No wet no wet food no wet no wet. Hungry hungry hungry eat. Eat eat eat.

Ashley gets two bowls from the cabinets and put the boxes of cereal on the table while Bode watches from his swing.

“Where’s Dudley?” Jeff asks.

06:51

Sleep sleep sleep. Snore snore snore. Snort snort snort sleep sleep sleep. Noise listen noise listen noise hear noise. Awake. Sniff sniff sniff sniff. Mama gone mama gone. Sniff sniff sniff. Mama gone mama gone daddy gone daddy gone alone alone alone. Scared scared.

“Wuff,” comes a very weak, muffled bark from the master bedroom. Jeff and Ashley, too intent on their breakfasts, do not hear it.

Alone alone scared scared alone gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee. No bad dog no pee no pee gotta pee no bad dog gotta pee gotta pee. Gotta pee gotta pee. Alone alone scared. Gotta pee gotta pee no bad dog bad dog gotta pee.

“Where’s Dudley?” Jeff asks.

“I don’t know—I thought you let him out before you walked Auburn.”

“No, he was on the bed last I saw him. You didn’t let him out either?”

“No.” Jeff gets up and hurries back to the bedroom.

Noise noise footsteps here I’m here I’m here I’m here I’m here.

“Wuff wuff wuff.”

“I hear you, Dud,” Jeff says coming into the bedroom and picking Dudley off the bed. He carries him to the back door and lets him outside, apologizing to him for having forgotten about him. In response, Dudley sneezes on Jeff.

“Thanks, little man,” Jeff says, shooing Dudley outside.

Sniff sniff sniff sniff. Gotta pee gotta pee. Sniff sniff sniff. Mud mud sniff mud gotta pee. Here pee here.

“All done?” Jeff asks to Dudley opening the door and letting the pug back inside. Jeff then uses his foot to direct the blind pug to his food bowl.

Sniff sniff nudge left nudge left nudge right nudge right sniff sniff sniff food. Eat eat eat.

06:59

“We going to try to venture out today?” Ashley asks.

“Do you think we’re ready to go places with the little guy?”

“I think so.”

“Me too. Where should we go?”

"How about..."

Motion motion motion motion motion. Calm calm. Soothing. Calm. Motion motion hungry motion. Hungry calm hungry calm. Mommy. Sniff sniff. Milk milk motion motion milk motion. Mommy mommy mommy. Milk hungry hungry milk motion calm milk hungry milk mommy milk mommy milk milk milk milk milk milk milk milk boob boob boob want boob

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

“Looks like it’s time to feed him,” Ashley says.

07:00