Bodeman at Work

I hate Andrew "Dice" Clay. You may remember him (said in your best Phil Hartman voice) from such box office hits like The Adventures of Ford Fairlane and...well, there aren't any others. He was the comedian who liked to make children's nursery rhymes a bit dirty. As an example, "Little boy blew [sic]; he needed the money." Yes, there was a time in my adolescence when I gave this type of humor top marks. He had many others, and I've found that even after fifteen years, they are still ingrained in my memory (but somehow I can't remember to buy T.P. at the store...) So now, anytime we are reading Bode these lovely nursery rhymes, all I can think of are those stupid (but still funny) lyrics. Fortunately, I am able to censor myself around the little man, because we certainly don't need him going to daycare singing the R-rated version of, "Hickory Dickory Dock..."

Speaking of Bode, we were reading Dr. Seuss's The Alphabet Book (or whatever it's called). It's the one that goes, "Big A, little A, what begins with A? Aunt Annie's aligator, A, a, A." Like most of Seuss's work (and also Shakespear), you can just about sing the words, and they have a catchy little beat (iambic pentameter?). So, we get to the letter, K, and it goes something like, "Big K, little K, what begins with K? K-word, K-word, K, k, K." It's the last part that struck me as, well, perhaps something the editor missed. K, k,...K? Do I need to be singing this to Bode? Yes, it's very innocent, but I'm surprised someone hasn't sued...

We were out fixing our stone wall earlier this week. A rock had fallen out of place, so we got some quickcrete to secure it back into place. Bode was a big help (hinderance)...the best part was playing with the hose. He managed to soak himself, but loved it. Here is a picture of a wet Bode-man with some crazy hair.
Yesterday, we took the camera with us to daycare. One of Bode's buddies is a little tyke named Tyler (aka Ty-Ty). Whenever Bode sees him, he says, "Hi Tywer." After they exchange their formal greetings (usually a shove), they immediately run over to begin their busy day of playing.Finally, here's a shot of Bode as we're leaving. (Un)Fortunately, he isn't at all upset when we leave. As a matter of fact, it sort of looks like he's saying, "Mom, Dad? I'm with my boyz! What are you still doing here? "
It's getting cool here. Temperature for Saturday is forecast to be 71. Yikes. Ashley may have to go against what society says and wear nylons before Labor Day.

Pleasant weekend.

It's Football Season!

Well, sort of. I flipped on TV and saw the first preseason NFL game is on. I can't really get into the preseason NFL games. Sure, I'll watch the Steelers...for the first quarter. Once the starters come out, I lose interest. This year, the actual season should be lots of fun. I joined my first fantasy football league. I sure hope it's everything I've ever dreamed it would be (I really need to work on my dream choices :-) I imagine I'll be soundly defeated because my intention is to let Bode help me decide my weekly roster.

Ashley is starting to get nervous about the upcoming Auburn season. The night sweats have started, and sometimes I hear her whimpering in her sleep about the evil Nick Satan, err, Saban. Once she woke up screaming about not knowing how to defend the little jump pass from Tim Tebow. My wife is certainly strange. Speaking of strange, check out these two idiots.
There really should be some sort of certification required before allowing someone to purchase a digital camera.

It's been hot here. Real hot. Ashley was tempted to break out the thongs, but I told her it wasn't yet hot enough for me to wear one (temps would have to be like those on Venus for that to ever happen). We should have gone to the pool to beat the heat, but instead, we went to the new outlet stores in Monroe (not that anyone outside of Dayton knows where that is--about 20 miles from our house). It was a lot like other outlet malls I've been to. I've noticed that everything in every store is always marked down or on sale. When is something not on sale?

Bode is great. He got a haircut this weekend (actually, he got them all cut, ha ha). Here are a couple pictures taken on the porch. First, we have Bode in some sort of action pose. Yes, he is one solid little dude.Too bad it's so hot here. Bode was ready to do some snow-shovelling. Give it few months, son.
Nothing else really going on. However, I must get up on my soap-box (only briefly) and say this. If you're in the men's locker room, I believe it's just good etiquette to yield the right-of-way to the naked guy. Otherwise, a gross encounter of the worst kind can ensue. And, as Forrest would say, "That's all I have to say about that."

Bode has really started to enjoy story time before bed. Every night we read to him, and he seems to love it. In fact, there is no greater joy than when your son says, "Soory Daddy?" while carrying his favorite book.
Pleasant week to all.

Bad Parents. Baaaad Parents.

Saturday, Ashley, Bode, and I went to The Greene, which is basically a big outdoor mall with a large common area in the middle. There is a guy on stilts that makes balloon animals, sometimes there's live music, and there is a big in-ground fountain that kids run through to stay cool in the summer heat. We left the house around five, and I always feel bad going somewhere this time of day. Five is about the time Auburn goes on her walk, so if she sees us getting ready to go somewhere around this time, she thinks we're heading out for a W-A-L-K . She'll watch us go downstairs, eagerly anticipating the, "C'mon Auburn," which doesn't come. I wonder how long she stays at the top of the stairs after we leave. Perhaps she lets out a little whimper and wonders what she did wrong. If only dogs were welcome everywhere...

We had a nice time at The Greene. Bode sort of played in the fountain, but as usual, he was more interested in puddles off to the side. This is probably a good thing because he didn't get soaking wet like all the other kids. Afterward, we went to dinner at Noodles and Co., and Ashley was nice enough to let us stop for ice cream on the way home. We got back to the house around 7:30, and Auburn was waiting for us, ready and raring to go on a walk. Sadly, neither Ashley nor I took man's best friend around the block. All night, she kept following me around with a sad, pathetic look on her face. I felt a little guilty, so I gave her a nice massage and belly rub before bed time, and telling her, "We'll go tomorrow, I promise," which, of course, she doesn't understand.

About 2:30 am, I hear Auburn get up--the click click click of her paws on the hardwood floor is unmistakable. I also hear her stomach making strange noises. This is nothing new, as sometimes she (like me) gets an upset tummy. I hear her make it to the kitchen, but I don't hear the dog-door slap shut. A few minutes later, she comes back to our room and just stares at us. I get up, thinking maybe the dog-door was stuck. I checked, but it was working fine, so I said, "Auburn, go outside." She just looks at me. "Whatever, dog, I'm going back to sleep." So she comes back to the room with me, and I get back into bed. I keep hearing her belly make those strange gurgling noises. Was it something she ate? I thought. And then it hits me. We forgot to feed her! Poor girl didn't get her dinner. What awful parents we are--how could we forget to feed our little baby (well, maybe not-so-little)?!? I get back up, go over to Auburn and say, "Do you want eat?" Well she's off like a rocket down the hall and is waiting for me in front of her dog-bowl. I give her some food, which she inhales, amazingly her stomach quiets down, and we go back to bed.

Fortunately, Bode will make a little more noise than Auburn when he's hungry, so it would be impossible for us to forget to feed him :-) Pleasant week to all (yes, there were no pictures with this post...I'll try to take some this week).