Scheming

You'll have to tell me if you think I'm being a bit paranoid. You must watch this video and tell me if you notice anything suspicious.

Did you hear it? If not, listen again. Note how Bode seems to be communicating by mimicking the sounds of birds. Right at the end, in the background, did you hear Dudley bark? It would seem these strange sets of noises Bode makes are somehow hidden messages to Dudley. No doubt the two are plotting to overthrow the existing regime. Bode probably feels he is not getting enough "Juicy" while Dudley probably thinks we are skimping on the treats. We'll have to keep our eyes on these two...

We have some exciting pictures of Bode in action. First, we have him in his little play area in the sun room. He really seems to like it...and what's nice is he can't yet get out of it, so it's like a little cell.
Unfortunately, those walls won't be able to contain him forever.
Next, we have Bode mugging for the camera...he's just too d*mn shy.
A recent afternoon, Ashley said she'd "watch" Bode while I did some work. Evidently watching really means taking a nap in Ash-speak.Finally, we have a shot of Bode in his crib. I remember when he looked so small in there, all swaddled up, his head no bigger than an orange. Now, the crib seems tiny, and it's only a matter of time before he figures out how to scale the walls.
We hope everyone has a great 4th of July!

Summertime

There's a old saying: "Love is blind." I don't know who said it (Ray Charles?) but I've realized it must be true. Case in point. You all know our beloved rottweiler, Auburn. To me, she still looks like a puppy, her face unchanged since the day we got her when she was six weeks old (well, she has started to gray around the whiskers, but that's not point). Could this dog really frighten anyone? Evidently, the answer is, "Yes, that beast can scare the p*ss out of people." On a recent Saturday morning, Ashley and I decided to take Bode and Auburn for a walk. It was still early--to give you an idea how early, only fishing shows were being shown on ESPN. Anyways, we headed down to the garage because that's where we keep the stroller. Auburn is with me, and Ashley is carrying Bode. I go to get the stroller while Ashley hits the garage door opener. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a van in our driveway which I find curious but not alarming. Then, I see Auburn bolt out of the garage, running like she'd just seen a cat. I then hear two of her deepest, "Protect house!" barks. I go flying out to the driveway and see Auburn standing between this van and the very frightened newspaper guy who was delivering our paper to the front door. The fur on Auburn's neck was standing up, and she looked upset; damn she has some big teeth. Anyways, this poor guy was not moving an inch. I don't know if he was frozen with fear, or if he simply had the sense enough to remain still and hope the dog lost interest. I apologized and tried to laugh it off. The newspaper guy didn't find it funny because our paper is no longer delivered to our front door; every morning it now gets only as far as our driveway.

Last night, Ashley and I went to dinner at the MCL cafeteria. To give you an idea of the patronage at this establishment, if one were to go eat dinner at 4:30 pm, the line would be huge. Anyways, lots of "elderly" folks there. Well, everyone was extremely nice to us, and they all loved Bode. However, at least five people said, "Boy, he doesn't miss a meal does he?" At first, I thought it was funny; after awhile, I started to think, "These septuagenarians are calling my boy fat. The nerve!" After we left, I asked Ashley if Bode is "a little on the heavy side." "Oh yeah," she replied. Well he may be tubby, but I don't know a lot of fat people that can do this. Mmm, mmmm, feet. Also note the tree trunks for legs. He's got the makings of future linebacker. Here are some pictures of Bode's trip down to Florida. He loved hanging out with his Nana and "Papatank," which is Granddad's new nickname. Why Papatank? Well, his first name is Frank, and JoAnne and Frank have been foster parents for a number of years to a number of children. One of them, Cherry, told her Mom she "wanted to go see Papatank." Cherry probably needs a phonics lesson, because she meant to say, "PapaFrank." We think Papatank is much more fun.
Next, we have a cute one of Bode and Mommy. Neither one of them really got a tan; Bode is kind of a bone-white while Ashley is a cream-white. Of course, there's nothing wrong with fair skin...We've had a busy weekend. We hooked up our tailwind, which is a stroller that we can attach to my bike. We tested it out and took Bode around the neighborhood. He seemed to like it, and Ashley seemed to like it. Did I like it? Well, it was fine except I get the joy of hauling around fifty more pounds (the tailwind is 30 pounds and Bode is 20). Actually, it's really not that bad, except for the hill near our house. Next weekend we plan on taking a nice ride and maybe a picnic. We also shot some baskets on our new basketball hoop. While Ashley was away in Florida, I successfully installed a new backboard and rim (the old one had fallen off during the winter). You'd think maybe I could clean myself up a bit for a picture...
After doing some chores, Ashley tried to nap. Auburn had something else in mind...Bode is changing every day. He can't yet sit up on his own, but he rarely topples over and he even seems to understand things. He doesn't quite yet having the drooling thing solved, but that'll be soon enough. We imagine he'll start crawling in the near future, so we better start baby-proofing the house.
Pleasant day.

Fire!!!

I've been home alone all week. Ashley and Bode left for Florida last Saturday. They return today, and I have to leave in a few minutes to go get them at the airport in Cincinnati. It's only about a 50 minute drive, and Ashley was able to get a direct flight via Cincinnati. This was a much more palatable option than risking flying through Atlanta and possibly getting stuck; traveling with an infant is trying enough without any airport delays. The flight down was uneventful. Ashley said the little dude was in fine spirits--napped on some occasions, ate his food, and played with the distractions Ashley brought with her. I spoke with Ashley all week, and even Skyped with the little man (free video phone over the internet for those stuck in the 20th century). It was fun seeing him; we think he recognized my voice but couldn't quite comprehend the face on the monitor was Daddy. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to seeing the little guy...oh, yes, and of course Ashley :-)

In a few days, I'm sure we'll post a lot of pictures of Bode's first trip to the beach. As a preview, here are some pictures Frank and JoAnne sent me. First, we have Bode getting ready for a swim.He's quite the little Don Juan. Too bad there weren't any chicks around. Of course, hanging with Mama on the water would have certainly cramped his style. Next, we have Bode in a little floatation device. Ashley said she couldn't tell if he liked it or not.Last, we have Bode with his Uncle Jason. Look at the gut on the kid! He better start walking soon because that Budda Belly is unacceptable.I am very much looking forward to Ashley and Bode coming home. The big reason I need them to return lies in the answer to the following question:

While Ashley and Bode were away, Jeff almost burned the house down how many times?

a) None
b) Once
c) Twice

Unfortunately, the answer is c. And I'm not talking about a hard stretch of imagination whereupon the house could've caught fire. There would have been a fire had I not saved the day (of course, there wouldn't have almost been a fire if I weren't such an idiot). How did this happen? Well, the day after Ashley left, I took Auburn for a walk. I was going to make chicken for dinner that night, so to help save time, I starting boiling the chicken right as I was leaving. The walk takes 10-15 minutes so no worries. On the walk, I stopped and starting visiting with some folks (Tony, Emily, and their daughter Lucy). We'd spoken before--said hello, nice weather, etc.--but never really met. Emily waved Auburn and me over, and we had a wonderful little visit. After about 30 minutes, I bolted up from my chair and said, "I'm boiling chicken!" and took off in a mad sprint. Our house is 0.24 miles from Tony's and Emily's (thank you GPS watch). Auburn and I must have covered it in world record time (well, to be honest, the chunky dog was like an anchor during the home stretch). I was so frightened during the run back to the house because when I lived in Iowa, there was a story about a gal who had come home from the bars. She was hungry so she started boiling water and made mac-n-cheese. Unfortunately, she passed out before she finished cooking and she burned her apartment down (she lived, as her roommate woke up and got them both out). I burst into the house expecting to see smoke. A good sign in that there wasn't any. I ran to the kitchen and saw the chicken was boiling but in about 1/2 inch water. Still plenty, but there was about 4 inches when it started...

The second fire episode happened this morning. We have a lamp next to our computer monitor. A couple months ago, the shade broke. Rather than buy a new one (gotta cut costs, man), I rigged the old shade using duct-tape. Last night, I was moving things around the desk and knocked the shade loose. I thought I fixed it, but evidently, I made it so the shade was resting on the light bulb. This morning, I was vacuuming the house (in preparation for Ashley's return) when I smelled something burning. I walked into the office, checked the computer, and then I saw the small line of smoke curling up from the lampshade. I quickly shut the light off and tore the shade away from the bulb. There was about an inch diameter circle of shade-material burned onto the light bulb. Needless to say, it's time to get a new shade.

Well, I'm off to the airport. Before I go, I better make sure the iron is off...

Pleasant day.

He's a 20-Pounder

Phew! What a busy week we had. Wednesday, we had Bode's 6-month photography shoot. The whole human family went--the dogs had to stay at home--and the pictures turned out quite well. The most awkward moment of the photo-session was when the following dialog transpired:

Photographer: "Jeff, why don't you take off your socks and shoes and stand there with Bode."
Jeff: "Ok." (Click, click, click, as a number of pictures are taken.)
Photographer: "Hmm, let's see. Jeff, can you take Bode's shirt off--it'll look cute."
Jeff: "Sure, whatever you say, you're the professional." (Click, click, click).
Photographer: "An interesting idea: Jeff, why don't you take off your shirt?"
Jeff: (Stares bewildered)

Somehow, Ashley and the photographer convinced me to show off the temple that is my upper body. You can view these photographs and all the others at http://www.markgarber.com. I think you click on Portraits Coming Soon and then click on clients. Password is Bode.

On Thursday, Bode had his 6-month checkup. He's now 26.75" long and weighs a whopping 19 lbs 4 oz. This puts him in the 50th percentile for height and the 75th percentile for weight. The doc also commented on Bode's physique: "He's got Michelin arms and legs, doesn't he?" (For those slow on the uptake, the Michelin is a reference to the stay-puff looking guy on the Michelin tire commercials). All in all, Bode was deemed a fit baby and the doctor has no concerns whatsoever.

Friday was somewhat of a normal day; we both worked (yuck) and Bode spent his last day in the young-infants room at day care. We met with his current room leader (Ms. Brenda) and his new room leader (Ms. Sarah) and also saw his new "office" aka the 6-12 month old room. It's very much like the old room, except bigger with more stuff to play on. Plus, there is this cute little table and chairs they are taught to sit at... they usually don't do that until the 8-month point, so Bode has time before he's eating like a civilized person (i.e. with a sippy cup). We're excited that Bode's moving up rooms; I guess kids growing up is inevitable. My one concern about this new room is the potential bullying--who's to stop a bunch of crawling 10-month old hooligans from tormenting poor little Bode? When I asked this, Ms. Sarah looked at Ms. Brenda who just shook her head and said, "Yes, Bode's father is an idiot. You'll just have to get used to him."

Saturday was a day of chores: Ashley was painting the kitchen ceiling, laundry needed done, Bode needed more clothes and more food, the house needed a good picking up, and Home Depot needed some of our money. Fortunately, we were done with the work by the evening, so we were able to relax and spend some time with the kiddo. We're also continuing our summer reading program. We figured the more Bode sees us reading, the more likely he'll want to read. Plus, we realized we were watching too much TV, so we're making a concerted effort to not watch it this summer (except for the occasional sporting event and Ashley must watch So You Think You Can Dance?) Ashley is reading Pillars of the Earth (excellent) and I'm reading Child 44 by Tom Rob Smith (also excellent--highly recommended!!!)

Today we haven't done much so far other than grow older. I've officially joined the ranks of "mid-30's" i.e. I'm now 35. Bode got in the birthday spirit and had a present waiting for me when we woke up; needless to say, I was a bit disappointed, but Ashley's gifts made up for it (a new wallet and a new running GPS watch). We'll try to go to lunch, maybe hit some golf balls, and I'm going to work in the yard. It's certainly not a birthday party worthy of Entertainment Tonight...but I wouldn't have it any other way :-)

We don't have many pictures to post (see the website mentioned above for some professional ones), but we do have these. First, Mommy and Bode.We also have Auburn giving Bode a "Happy 6-months" kiss.
No major events planned this week. Saturday, Ashley and Bode are going to Florida for a week of fun in the sun. I will stay here with the doggies and hopefully get some much needed work done at school! Pleasant day to you all.