Friday, November 16, 2007

Houston, we have a problem.

Ok, before anyone gets scared, Ashley and Ender are both fine. We had a checkup this morning, and the doctor said things are going along nicely and that Ashley's hips have moved considerably since our last visit. Evidently things are "opening up" to allow smooth passage as Ender makes his way from the womb to the world. Hopefully this assuages any fears you may have had after seeing the title.

Now, here is the problem: Why was I never informed about the "six-week layoff" following Ender's birth? This wasn't mentioned during our classes, nor have I ever heard the topic discussed in a "should we have a baby" pamphlet, which only seem to cover questions like, "Are you financially able to support a child?" and "Are you willing to sacrifice your personal time to care for a baby's needs?" While maybe not as important, the question, "Do you realize it will be at least six weeks following the birth of your baby that your wife is off limits?" should be broached well in advance of any activity which may involve conception. I'm not saying this would have been a deal breaker, but this certainly alters my "Welcome Home From the Hospital, Ashley" plans.

Oh, don't think I'm idiot--I figured there'd be some recovery time, like when I sprained an ankle (I was back running within a week) or tweeked a shoulder (two weeks off from swinging a racquet), but I'd no idea it'd be until 2008 and then some before Ashley is (and to use a football term), "ready for game speed." When the doctor mentioned the six weeks this morning, I thought she was joking. I waited for the punch line, but it never came. I looked to Ashley for confirmation, and she just nodded like it wasn't news to her. In fact, she was somewhat surprised at my reaction, claiming that we had talked about this a bunch of times. Sorry, little lady, but a conversation which involves me and discusses that particular topic is likely to be ingrained into both my conscious and subconscious for all eternity (or, in this case, six weeks post Ender's birth, which is like an eternity). What's even worse is Ashley's rather subdued reaction to the six-week sentence of abstinence, which has me starting to doubt myself. Then again, it was this particular act that resulted in Ashley's current condition and the less-than-enjoyable last nine months. Still, she could at least act a little more disappointed (for my sake).

There are now two very important dates in the McGuirk family: 29 November 2007 (Ender's arrival) and 11 January 2008 (Game Day). Heaven help us if Ender's late...

Pleasant day,

Jeff

1 comment:

RockyMtnCyclist said...

Jeff, hangin there. I am half way through Kristin's stint on the "Disbled-List" (Baseball's term for the 6 week layoff). I hope you are not also surprised to find out out that your wife may have to spend a few weeks in the minor leagues before the organization deems her ready to return to the field. Just kidding. Too bad "time-off" didn't coinside with lent, you could have given sex up for lent and then you would be a hero!